FH Sister in BP – not attending RD and leaving reception early bc of kids

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
6839 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Kasey Michelle :  The correct response in this situation is to simply say “Okay I totally understand. That’s your choice.” And then move on with your life. 

ETA: Even if she is trying to annoy you or make your wedding all about her, that only works if you let her! Don’t feed into it and there is absolutely no problem. 

Post # 18
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I love a kids free wedding, we had one, but I would never leave my kids with someone I didn’t know. Never. It doesn’t matter how well you know them or how long. Are they traveling to the wedding? If it is in her hometown, she has no excuse and should get a sitter. If it is out of town, and her kids have anxiety (clingy) being away from her, why would you think strangers in a strange place are a solution for them? I don’t see this as her making it “about her” she is going to the rehearsal, the ceremony and dinner.  

Post # 20
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

Kasey Michelle :  I actually think it’s more difficult to have to find a sitter for half the event than for the full thing.  Who’s going to bring the kids to the sitter? Honestly I can see why she’d rather just go home if she was going to have to leave to drop them off anyway.

You’re way overreacting, she isn’t making it all about her at all. 

Post # 21
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

Kasey Michelle :  I am so turned off by this entire situation.

My husband and I also did a kid-free wedding, but his niece and nephew were the ring bearer and flower girl. They were, of course, invited to the rehearsal dinner (what’s the big deal about them being there?) and to the wedding. I’m not sure why it’s such a big deal that the two kids (who are the only children in your lives, and important enough to be in the wedding party) are excluded from two events? Yes, adults drink at weddings- but do you think your sister and brother in law will be drunk as skunks when they’re aware their kids are there?

Post # 23
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I learned from my wedding that some people get superrr offended with the no kids rule. We had several people get very upset with us about it. All you can do is suggest her husband take the kids home…if she chooses not to stay for her brother’s wedding then that’s her choice unfortunately. I wouldnt leave my kids with a babysitter that i didnt know either. But if it were my brother’s wedding I would let me husband take the kids home so I could attend the Rehearsal Dinner and the entire wedding.

Post # 24
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

I really dont like some of these people’s comments. If you gave her a lot of notice she should have found a sitter. I think what should I do and answer of find a sitter is appropriate. The wedding is more important than her watching ELMO at home.  If it is an important wedding the person should find a sitter. I hate when people try to make everything be about their kids. Its fine if its like something low key like oh sorry I cant go to the bbq but over a wedding WTH. Thats messed up. Id be so upset. However, just ignore her she can leave early and watch elmo and baby talk everyone else will be having a blast.

Post # 26
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

weddinggirl2009 :  What an ignorant comment.  

The reverse of that is why is a party more important than spending time with your child?

It’s the mother’s own choice to leave after the ceremony and that’s fine, your opinion isn’t more valid.   The wedding is more important than her watching ELMO at home.

Post # 27
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I just want to say I would be irritated too. People who won’t hire babysitters drive me crazy. Sorry, bee.

Post # 28
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

 

whnlz :  It is not ignorant. It is true. A persons wedding is not more important than a mother going home early because she did not get a baby sitter. The mother should have hired a baby sitter. It is a fact of life. You cannot be with your child every waking moment. Therefore you need a baby sitter sometimes. I did not say the mother should get a baby sitter every week. I said once for a wedding. A person who is a responsible parent should lead by example. Like attending relatives wedding and having their own life. Not being obsessed with staying home every second. It seems like this person is lazy and wants to manipulate the bride into having kids at the reception or has some sort of mental issue where she cant be apart from a kid for a few hours. The bride is allowed to have a reception without kids running around everywhere stealing her spotlight. It is also unsafe to have children at weddings with drinking. My sister is a police officer and just went to a call where a child was crushed under a table at a wedding because people got trashed and danced on a table. The child was playing hide and seek. Children do not belong at places with alochol and dacning.  A wedding reception with alcohol is not a safe place for children under 13. So again get a sitter. It is the persons family not a random friend the person barely knows. I am sorry if I should offensive but a once in a lifetime wedding is more important than another baby/kids night. The mother can just be with the kid the next day what is the difference. Especially since the bride went out of her way to tell the person in advance. It is BS!  I am not against the mother going home early to make it easier for the sister or cheaper but I think the mother just doesn’t want to get a sitter and that’s rude to the bride and groom for making their wedding about her kids. Not everyday is about someone’s kid or baby party. Sorry! You need to think of this through the bride’s eyes not a Mom who is lazy.

Post # 29
Member
9555 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It was your choice to have a child free wedding, and it is her choice to leave early to tend to her children.

I had a child free wedding myself, but it still annoys me to no end when other people think they get to dictate what other people do with their kids.

weddinggirl2009 :  you clearly have no children.

Post # 30
Member
6839 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

weddinggirl2009 :  “You need to think of this through the bride’s eyes not a Mom who is lazy.”

A mom is lazy because she wants to take care of her own children?!?! Ooookkkkaaaayyyy….

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