(Closed) FH Wants to Quit Job!

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Not with my partner but with me. I wanted to quit SOOO bad but I really couldn’t. FH would listen to me and let me scream and cry but it always came back to him reminding me I coulnd’t. He gave suggestions and helped me look for a new job while I was in my old one.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband has had a really miserable stint at Target. He just sucked it up until something better came along and he jumped at it. He mentioned quitting a few times and I gave him options and helped him look for a job, but I guess it was the best of the worst!

You need money, plain and simple. And a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Encourage him/help him look for a new job, but not until something more permanent comes along. Temporary jobs are just that–temporary.

Post # 5
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

How bad is his situation exactly?  has he considered this for a while?

I actually quit my job almost two months ago because I was so unhappy and stressed it was negatively affecting every aspect of my life.  Honestly, it was one of the darkest times of my life.  I couldn’t imagine I would ever feel that way about a job . . . it felt similar to how I felt when I was going through a personal tragedy.

It’s one thing to quit just because you are slightly unhappy or bored, or not getting along with a co-worker, or some other relatively minor reason… but if it something more serious, he was probably right to move on. 

I am concerned about money and I understand why you would be too, but you have to remember, your FI’s sanity and personal well-being come first. 

Good luck to your Fiance in the job search!

Post # 7
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I just want to point out how awesome it is that he has someone like you who is supportive. Your last comment wasn’t “I don’t want him to but he’s going to anyway.” It was “for his all around well-being, it is probably best that he quits.” You’re putting him first, and that is awesome.

Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Has he been looking for a new job in the last few months? It is much, much easier to get a job while one has a job. It makes you look much more reliable and employable.  I would strongly suggest to him to keep looking/start looking harder to find a new job before quitting- regardless if you can afford a few months without another income.  With the questionable job market he could end up out of work for months or longer and then end up doing something equally as miserable to just get the paycheck.

Post # 9
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My last job I was in for 2 years and I hate it from the beginning. I cried almost everyday going there and coming home. I had to wake up at 4am and usually didn’t come home until after 6pm. It was terrible. I was depressed and a b*tch to almost everyone b/c of it. I had NO options. I couldn’t quit no matter how much I wanted. FH was my rock so to speak, he would let me complain but would tell me its going to get better and to just hold out a little longer. He would also knock some sense into me by saying, “ok you quit tomorrow and then what? we loose the apartment, you sell your car? Whats your plan?” Or something to that extent, he didn’t say it mean or negatively but it was enough to let me know I needed to suck it up.

Post # 10
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

Has your Fiance been looking for a job for a while now?  If he has been looking and applying and not hearing anything back, I think you should take that as a sign that its going to be even harder for him to find something once he leaves his current job.

But you should also take a look at your current financial situation.  Are you going to still be able to afford your wedding if he isn’t working for a while?  If after his temporary backup plan runs out how is he (or both of you if you live together) going to pay your bills?  Savings?  Credit cards?

I can understand being emotionally over a job, but you really need to explore how this is going to effect the two of you over the long-term.

And your Fiance is lucky to have someone so supportive and aware of his emotional needs. 🙂

Post # 11
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sure that the two of you can figure it out.  Just please make sure that he has something else lined up before he quits so that you won’t completely lose out on all his income.

Post # 12
Member
8077 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

FH did it.  He was in a miserable situation as well.  Age was a big issue, as we are much older than most of you here.  It turned out the company was ready to downsize anyway, so he was able to negotiate a bit of a package.

The biggest miscalculation he had made was the time it would take to find himself another job.  The economy really turned & he was without a full time job for much longer than he had planned to be.

As bad as it was for him, when he looks back, he still would have left–it was that terrible.

Post # 13
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

In the grand scheme of life a couple months is really not a very long time.  I know it’s hard to be unhappy in your job but he has responsibilities now.  Since you two are getting married he doesn’t just have to answer to himself.  There is someone else in the picture.  In this economy it’s just not smart to walk away from a steady income.  If he is truly unhappy then he should absolutely start looking for a new job.  But if I were you I would be very uncomfortable with my husband quitting his job before he had his next position lined up.

Post # 14
Member
8077 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@Moose1209:

I think that is very wise.  I wish FH had done that, altho he sort of did have work lined up, just not as stable or predictable.

He’s learned.

Post # 15
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m a firm believer in not quitting a job until you have one lined up. I personally would NEVER quit without a solid backup plan and I would seriously object if Fiance wanted to. If the economy was different and jobs were plentiful then it would be another story but as we all know, good jobs are few and far between (there are ex CEO’s delivering pizzas! What does that tell you?). Financial security is far too important to me to risk on a gamble of maybe finding adequate employment after a resignation. 

Post # 16
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

As a follow up to my previous post, I think there is a difference between sacrificng your mental health and just being unhappy in a job.  He needs to figure out where on the spectrum he is and the two of you should weigh your options together.  It would have been unfathomable for me to quit a job without having one lined up before I had the experience with my last job.

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