(Closed) FI 3rd old son in wedding… help!

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well.. it’s not just any child, it’s the groom’s son!  I don’t want children at our ceremony/reception at all, but if my Fiance had a child, I’d think it would be a given that he/she would be there.  JMO.

Post # 4
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Exactly.. You and your Fiance are becoming a family now. That family includes his son. It’s only proper he’s in the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Honestly, I am going to try my hardest to be polite here, but the fact that you call his son “baggage” is pretty um…. hmm… not nice?

I think that if you are marrying someone with children, you need to love them for who they are including their children. 

If it means so much to him to have his son in the bridal party, I think if you love him, you wouldn’t even think twice about this. 

Just my person opinion. 

Post # 6
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

He’s your child so he definitely should be in the wedding.  Since he’s soo young, it would make sense to have him walk w/ your Flower Girl or even a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Then he can sit w/ Father-In-Law. 

 

Post # 7
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I never wanted very young children at my wedding

It’s his wedding too. I think you should reconsider.

Post # 8
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Excuse me? Your wedding? Baggage? You do realize it’s his wedding and his son too, correct?

Adjust your attitude and you’ll find life gets a lot less disappointing.

Post # 9
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have a 3 year old and would desvastated if my husband told me he was not welcome at a ring bearer.  He came up the aisle with the bridesmaids, ran to Darling Husband, and then went to sit with my dad.  At the end of the ceremony, Darling Husband gave him a ring to sybolize that he was also “marrying” him and taking him to be his stepson.

His son is a huge part of his life and not “baggage.”   I would let him know you feel this way so you two can work through it before you’re married.  He may not want to be married to someone who will not accept his son.

I personally would have walked away if my husband felt that way.

Post # 10
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This isn’t some random 2nd cousin’s best friend’s kid. This is your new step-son.

Post # 11
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

This sounds like something you should keep to yourself.  I hope your Fiance doesn’t have a clue how you really feel.  An extreme attitude adjustment is in order if you want this relationship to work.  If it’s between you or my child.  You lose.

And if you do make it to the altar and decide to have children with your new husband, I feel kind of sorry for the “baggage” he brought into the marriage.

Post # 12
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am not a big fan of kids at weddings but it is his son..

Post # 13
Member
417 posts
Helper bee

Im going to have to agree with all the other pp’s.  This isn’t baggage this is your family now. This is your  fiance’s wedding just as much as it is yours and he has every right to want to have his son as his ring bearer. You dont have to invite any other children if you really dont want small children there, but this is a big deal for the son as well. He is getting a step mother.  Could you imagine how that would make him feel if he found out his step mother didn’t want him at their wedding?

Post # 14
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

This is your step son not some random off the street.  Does your Fiance know that you feel his son is baggage?  This should be something you two talk about.

Post # 15
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, you sound um bitter? “Baggage” this is a child we are talking about not some luggage.  And it is your FI’s wedding also. Why shouldn’t he have his son your soon to be step son in the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s sucks, but you are getting marry to a man with baggage, you will have to take the whole package as is.

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