Post # 1
I found out today that one of the thing I feared the most is happening. Fiancee is going to be out of a job within a few weeks/month and it’s couldn’t come at a worse time. We’re paying into our wedding fund in monthly lump sums and were really dependant on making all the monthly contributions right up to the big day in order to make sure we could afford our wedding.
Most of the big things are commited to so to cancel any of those things don’t make economical sense. We weren’t having a cake or fancy transport or or elaborate stag and hen dos, so now I have to rack my brain to work out where we can cut back. It all breaks my heart.
When I should be getting excited about getting my invites printed and sent out, all of a sudden I’m gutted for him and have this horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach about what the hell we’ll do about paying rent and bills. Let alone the wedding.
Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear that 🙁 I hope things work out for you guys! And if you have to postpone the wedding for money reasons, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. It might be a stressful idea now, but it would ease your mind about paying bills until he finds a new job!
Post # 4
@mrsjennibtobe1987 Thanks for your message. I have no idea how I would go around postponing the wedding. I will put in a call tomorrow with our venue to see how that would work.
Just the thought of making that sort of call makes me feel a bit humiliated. I’m completed numbed by the shock of information. My fi is being very male and doesn’t want to talk about it and I respect that, I just wish I could fix this some how.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry to hear this. I agree that maybe you could consider postponing the wedding. In the mean time, maybe focus on helping your Fiance revamp his resume and practice interviewing skills. The fact that you know it coming let’s you be more prepared and if he starts seriously looking for a job now he may find one in time for you to stay on track. I’d suggest he starts looking right now, as it’s easier to find a job when you have one. Good luck!
Post # 6
@Aure Thank you. Yes I agree I’ve always heard it easier to get a job, in a job. I’ve been feeling helpless but you are right, I need to be proactive in helping him sharpen up his cv and getting him preped and ready to go back in to the market. He’s been at the company 6 years and they are being so mean about the move to get rid of him. It’s totally political and strategic. Fi is ace at his job and is well respected. What a horrible thing to do. I’m actually sad and mad at the same time.
Post # 7
Oh I’m so sorry.
I hope he can find something before he’s actually out of work.
Hoping this all works out fr you.
Post # 8
@Soon2BeeMrsG: Oh so sorry to hear this news, this happened to Fiance and I to earlier this year and although we are not getting married until next year like you we were committed to setting aside money until then for it..
However, STAY POSITIVE is the best advice a friend gave to me.. it was hard becuase I really just wanted to cry every day but that would not have helped, as others have said get his resume up to date and start sending it out now – send it to companies that are not advertising too as there are hundreds of jobs that are never advertised. My Fiance found a job in a month (all be it on the other side of the country bringing another set of problems!!), so it CAN be done. join all the employment agencies, speak to friends and friends of friends (network – this was how Fiance found out about the job he now has!).
Only you can decide if postponing the wedding is the right thing – but if it is no one is going to think badly of you if you have to…
Good Luck to him on his job search 🙂
Post # 9
So sorry to hear that, my fiances job is laying a bunch of people off too so Im hoping hes not the next to go, but as soon as they started, he began applying to other jobs. If worse comes to worse, and he cant find another, there is always temp work. It would at least pay the bills :/ Good luck with everything
Post # 10
I’m so sorry, but I want you to know you CAN do it. My Fiance lost his job in September (bad), was denied unemployment (worse) and we were recently given custody of his little sister (worst). We’ve gone from living pretty well with no worries to paycheck to paycheck with the added stress of paying for and caring for a teenager (we’re 31 and 32 ourselves).
Every added bump was upsetting, but we have found out we CAN do it! We don’t get to do all the fun stuff we did before, but it really has helped us be more responsible and frugal. We cut coupons, shop sales and spend more nights at home, but we are happy. Planning and paying for the wedding has been an obstacle, but we’re doing what we can afford– if people don’t like it, they can deal with it. All that matters is that you get married in the end! FWIW, our vendors have been EXTREMELY accomodating with us and were willing to compromise on some things after we explained our circumstances. There’s no shame in being honest– you might get a better reaction than you expect.
GOOD LUCK– you’ll be fine and I wish you both the best!
Post # 11
Sorry. I hope he finds something before he ends his present job so he doesn’t have that lull of nothingness. Can he go onto unemployment if he doesn’t find anything after? At least it’s something…
Post # 12
I’m so sorry! Definitely try to call your vendors and see if you can work out some sort of a payment plan so you could pay off some of the wedding afterwards. Presumably, you’ll get some monetary gifts the day of the wedding that you could use to pay off some of the debt.
Post # 13
@Soon2BeeMrsG: I dont think rush into postponing it until you have had a chance to talk about it and maybe he can get aother job soon or a temporary job. If you have already informed your guests it will be harder to postpone (but if you have to you can) & it would be silly to lose deposits etc. But can you borrow some money from your family and also ask for payment plans from vendors. Maybe see if you can cut some things out from food menu? Sell some things you have and dont need?
Post # 14
Thank you all for your comments and kind words. Shortly after I posted my poor, tired looking fi came home from work. We talked about things for a while and he cried 🙁 , of course there is nothing more heart wrenching that seeing the one you love the most crying so this set me off and we had a cry and a hug together.
I just feel heart broken for him, he doesn’t deserve this and it feels like the rug has been pulled from under us. Out of our talk he laughted off any idea of postponing the wedding. He said he’s not “worried” about paying for that, we’ll ‘work it out’ … I think he’s more worried about things going forward, you know, paying rent, bills and keeping our commitments. We already said we’d pay for our honeymoon after the wedding so we could spread costs. So there is a good chance a honeymoon will be shelfed until later notice, another blow.
What traveller said is right, I won’t rush to move things around. Things are still very fresh and we need to understand how long we actually have before he’s out and if there will be any redundancy package for him (which there bloody well should be after 6 years!) If there is, we’ll set that aside for rent etc rather than wedding funds. I don’t believe we should be funding wedding related stuff with a fund that should be used to keep you afloat.
Post # 15
@Soon2BeeMrsG: Your poor Fiance, I’m sure it will work out. You will have an awesome wedding day I’m sure.