(Closed) FI accidentally ran over a dog…what to do?

posted 8 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would give her a gift basket with a note/sympathy card.

I would just drop it off at her door – not force her to face/speak with you guys, because even though it was an accident and your FH feels guilty, if someone hit my dog with a car and killed it, I would feel sick seeing them.

Post # 4
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am sorry this happened to the two of you. It is very disturbing even when it was not your fiance’s fault. What about a donation to the local SPCA?

Post # 5
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That breaks my heart. I’m so sorry (for both you guys and the dog). I can imagine the guilt must be overwhelming. I would write a card and hand deliver it. I think it will help her heal if she can have a conversation with you guys– it always helps to talk and to know that yes, life happens and sometimes it’s awful, but this too will pass. 

Post # 6
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would get a sympathy card or flower arraignment.  I like the idea of a donation to the spca- is there any way you could do it in her name, or maybe they have something where you can say “in honor of sparky” or whatever?

That sucks so much.  I’m so sorry for you guys (and the poor woman).

Post # 7
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

You can leave a gift basket if you want but honestly, I would be too stricken to even want a reminder. Horrible accidents like that are hard on everyone involved, but especially for the person who cherished and loved the animal. Unfortunately nothing but time will make it better. 

Post # 8
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would leave a card in her mailbox with your deepest condolences and appologies. I’d also extend a offer to buy her coffee or something if she wants to talk. That way its left in her hands if she wants to discuss it further.

Post # 9
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That’s so unfortunate.  I really doubt that she would do this, however, it is possible that she may ask for financial reimbursement to pay for another dog (it obviously wouldn’t replace the dog she had, but she may want a companion.)  You may want to discuss this with your Fiance (like what you would do if she said that) before you drop off a gift basket/ sympathy card.  I really hope she wouldn’t, especially since it sounds like the dog was running free (not on a leash).  I’m really not trying to make you feel worse, I promise.  Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would put a sympathy basket on her door with a card that asks if there is anything you can do and that you are terribly sorry for the accident.  Please do that, I really hope you do.  I am so sorry this happened to you and that it happened at all.  Maybe even offer (in the card/note) to (I know this sounds awful, but I am honestly thinking about what I would want if this happened to me-) get her another dog.  I know!  I know it sounds bad.  But I would offer.  In time, she may feel better knowing that you cared enough to offer (?).  I am so sorry!

Post # 11
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

omg. my husband did this once. 🙁 he was a schwans driver and ran over a dog on one of his routes 🙁

he was a little young and stupid and just left (after talking to the guy, very briefly though)…he says he probably should have sent a note or done something – but didn’t really know what to do.

i agree do not send a check, i think it’d be insulting too. and I agree with possibly leaving a card with your deepest apologies/condolences. 

but like lillyfaith said – the only thing that’ll make things better is time. i don’t know if i’d want someone to remind me of what happened…but i do think a card would be most appropriate.

Post # 12
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

As someone who owns 2 dogs I think it would be nice to acknowledge what has happened, but leave it (maybe flowers and a note) in the letterbox or by the door, not force a conversation. I wouldn’t want to speak to the person who killed my dog, even if logically I knew it was an accident (and mostly my fault as the owner who didn’t use a leash), I just wouldn’t be able to speak to them. However, since they are a neighbour and you are going to keep seeing her, I think an acknowledgement would be appreciated. Over time I am sure you will be able to strike up conversations and I think this will be easier if you make your gesture sooner rather than later. I feel awful for your Fiance, I can imagine how he feels 🙁

Post # 13
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would send a note and a gift basket or something.  I’m so sorry that happened.  Once my husband and I were driving and this dog ran across the road.  I thought we had hit it but it ran by just in time that it didn’t.  Then the little beast ran for a mile with us trying to catch it so that it would get off the road!

Post # 14
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What a horrible situation! I would send a flower arrangement with a personally written note giving your condolences, and say that you made a donation to the Humane Society in memory of her dog. I would appreciate that if I were them, but I agree with everyone else – leave it at her door when she’s not home so there’s not a forced conversation.

Post # 15
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would leave a note in her mailbox and have some flowers delivered.  How sad!!  Does she have a garden?  They have garden stones w/ messages on it to remember a loved one/pet – possibly doing some like that? 

Post # 16
Member
4159 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I love the idea of making a donation to the local spca.  I could honestly say that if someone ran over my dog, I wouldn’t want a gift basket.  I think a card explaining how sorry he is and that you’ve made a donation to the spca in her/her dogs name is very moving.  Hopefully she’ll be able to forgive your Fiance and realize it really was an accident.  

 

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