(Closed) FI and Counseling

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We did premarital counseling through our church, and it really wasn’t as bad as your Fiance seems to think.  My husband and I are both fairly private, but there really wasn’t anything we did to make us uncomfortable.  It was a group session with like, six couples.  We did activites with the entire group, then with our gender, and with each other.  It was super relaxed, and only took one weekend of our time.  

Post # 5
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’re currently going through counseling and reading a book together which is really helping a lot. I have to say that actually speaking to a therapist is the best decision in preparing for marriage though. Counseling will benefit even the best couples cuz you will need to know how to properly handle things as a couple in marriage and things could change at any moment in the future.

The book we just started reading is helping us learn a lot about each other though so I recommend it. It’s called Don’t you dare get married until you read this! The book of questions for couples.

Post # 6
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We also did a pre marital counseling retreat through our chuch because it was required.  I’m not Catholic, or really religious at all, so I thought it was going to be horrible but it really wasn’t that bad.  It was more of a seminar.  We didn’t have to talk to the whole group about our issues, they just gave us time to talk amongst ourselves. It was great because there were a few things that we hadn’t fully discussed that it was helpful to get out on the table.  The best part of it was the book we worked through, which they gave us at the end.  Ours was for Catholics (called Perspectives on Marriage), but I’m sure you could find one for your religion or just a general marriage prep book.  I definitely would recommend either doing the counseling or working through a book together.  I don’t think it matters which as long as you stick with it.  I think it so important to take some time to focus on the marriage in the midst of all the hectic wedding planning.  

Post # 7
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The book we used was pretty expressly Methodist, so I wouldn’t recommend it without knowing more about your faith. Would you be comfortable asking your pastor for a recommendation?

Post # 9
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Mrs_Amanda: we were required to do a full day marriage prep class as well as one on one meetings with the deacon prior to our wedding day – as a catholic who doesnt practice much and is marrying someone whose family is pretty devout i was really nervous about the class for my own reasons, not because i was uncomfortable discussing our relationship.

honetstly it was a ton of fun and we learned so much about eather other, i dont know why i was nervous about it. it really brought us a lot closer and i would highly suggest something along those lines to anyone who wants to get married.

Post # 10
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would completely recommend counseling.  Even though you may have talked with your Fiance about finances, kids, household responsibilites, communication styles, etc., a counselor can really help guide deeper conversation and then if there are issues that arise can be a great mediator as you talk through them. 

Remember as well that counselors have an ethics code to uphold, especially confidentiality.  Their confidentiality requirements even go beyond HIPAA, no one beside you and  your counselor will ever know what you discussed.  You would be in the room together with just the counselor.  Even the most private person can feel comfortable divulging information in such a setting.  Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s a good idea personally. A lot of men aren’t comfortable with the idea of counselling unless there’s something ‘wrong’ that needs to be fixed, but i think it can be a really healthy thing. However, I’m about to order the 5 love languages as well as ‘1001 questions to ask before you get married’ as my Fiance doesn’t want premarital counselling either!

Post # 12
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I totally agree agree, counseling is worth it, we did it with just us and a couple counseled us, we loved it and them! It was pretty informal but totally worth it. We went through the book boundaries in marriage, but I also suggest the 5 love languages.

Post # 13
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs_Amanda: I would reccommend “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. Fiance and I read through this together (after he already read it once by himself). It is a real eye-opener.

Post # 14
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For once Im among the mainstream-  yeahhhh

Post # 14
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For once Im among the mainstream-  yeahhhh

Post # 14
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We are going through counseling now… I admit, I was and am not a fan of it… but FH is and it’s one thing we compromised on. I can only see it helping our marriage but am a private person and hate therapy/counseling on the whole. Talking to a stranger about personal stuff is very awkward for me. 

The topic ‘FI and Counseling’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors