(Closed) Fi and I are atheists and having the ceremony at a chapel?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think that if people know you and know you aren’t relgious and also the fact that it isn’t attached to an actual church and there is no indications inside of it being a church, it is just a pretty building.

Post # 4
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t see how they can be offended, it’s not like you are going to the Methodist Church down the street and doing it.  I see it as just a venue like the million other secular locations there are.  I am a staunch Christian and I would look at it as just a beautiful venue.  So go an have a beautiful wedding there.  Just make sure you come back with recaps, that place is stunning and I want to see what you do with it.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

for me thats a chapel/building not a church and there is a big difference between the 2.  i think your chapel is gorgeous and dont view it as a religous setting

Post # 6
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, it’s a very pretty building. I wouldn’t think of it as a church. I might think, oh the windows are similar to traditional church architecture – but there are no crosses, etc., that would make me think it was actually place of worship. Especially because (I assume) your ceremony won’t be religious, I don’t think anyone would think it was an actual church (or remember it that way). 

I wouldn’t call it a chapel though, because chapel is a religious place of fellowship and worship. 


Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would probably remember it as being in a nondemoninational churchy structure, but I’d remember your ceremony being non-religoius.  Would it offend me?  No.  But we’re having a secular ceremony too (which is maybe why I think this looks like a church?  Haven’t been in enough I suppose).  Assuming your guests know you’re aethists I can’t see it offending them either.

But like the PP I wouldn’t call it a chapel.  I would refer to it as something more neutral.

Post # 8
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would think of it as being in a church, but thats probably because I’m agnostic and don’t appreciate the difference between a church and a chapel!

 

Post # 10
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This place looks very similar to a church i considered booking. For me personally I think of a chapel as a place of worship which is similar in nature to a church. At my church (and others i have been to) there’s a chapel within the church for smaller services. Since chapel is in the name some people may have similar connections. Someone could be offended but isn’t someone always mad about some element at a wedding?! If you like it then book it.

Post # 11
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Gemma_Leigh:  In that case, I imagine more people would think of it more as a church. I assume that by naming it a “chapel” and designing it to look like a church it was meant to be able to hold a variety of religious ceremonies/weddings (of differing religions).    

That said, if you still have a secular wedding, you aren’t breaking any “rules” or being dishonest by holding it there. 

If it were me, I would still have it there (and Fiance and I are both atheists too.) 

Post # 12
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I say go for it; we almost went with a similar location that actually USED to be used as a church, but for logistical reasons we didn’t end up doing it. I think that the lack of religious symbols should be enough for people to get the message; and if it’s not, your failure to mention any dieties should be an indicator.

It’s a beautiful building, and if someone gets offended, that’s their problem. I wrote our ceremony with LOTS of help from Miss Chery Pie, and we were both a little concerned that his Catholic family was going to freak out. But we got nothing but compliments on how unique and special it was! I say go with your gut!

Post # 13
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

if I read “chapel” on the invite– I’d expect I was going to a church.  

I think I’d also be confused when I was sitting in your ceremony– I’d be trying to find the cross or figure out who owned the place!

Post # 14
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s beautiful. To me it resembles the inside of the church but that’s only just because it looks like pews. And IMO so what if people get offended – there is nothing TO offend anyone so I say go for it!

Post # 15
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That being said I’m Anglican but do not practice it even tho i was baptised there….Fiance is a practicing Catholic, and his parents are HUGE into the church. They know I’m not, I even put up a huge fuss when we got our daughter baptised (I think it should be the child’s decision when he/she gets older, them not so much) so I feel kinda silly to get married in an actual church because of all the fuss I did) but I just think it’s traditional and my church is actually very pretty 🙂

Post # 16
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m in a similar situation, as my civil wedding is going to be in an old deconsecrated church, that is now a local museum. It still looks a lot like a church on the inside (including stained glass windows). We will refer to it by the museum name on the invitations, rather than it’s old name when it was a church. I’m with Crababs and Bookworm on this – to me “chapel” denotes religious connotations and would mean a church of some sort. Personally, I wouldn’t be offended by finding that it wasn’t a church, but the more traditional members of the family might be surprised on the day if they were expecting a religious ceremony (I probably wouldn’t overly care if they were though). Do you have to refer to the place as a “chapel”? It looks like a stunning place to get married and I definitely think you should go for it!

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