(Closed) FI and I cannot agree

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

Why is he against them if you take some just for your personal enjoyment?  Have you shown him examples of STDs?  Does he do holiday photos at all?  Maybe you can combine the two…there are plenty of gorgeous christmas/STD cards and you can let him know what a savings it will be.

Post # 4
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My Fiance was against them too, and even against a professional wedding photographer. He hates getting his picture taken for one, especially when a “professional” is telling him how to pose. I pretty much told him he didn’t have a choice I think… I really don’t remember how I talked him into it. But he reluctantly agreed eventually… And our Save-The-Date Cards were magnets, so of course they are going to end up on the frigerator!!!! LOL

Edit*: Also, our photographer was my sister’s best friend, so maybe that made him feel a little bit better, that she wasn’t your typical photographer, but he ended up liking her to take our pictures!

Post # 5
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Per my fiancé- tell this guy this is one of those things he has to do because his love wants to do it. If it doesn’t really matter to him, and it makes her really happy (and it’s not that pricey) then do it because it’ll make her smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I’m hoping to do the same (xmas STDs) which is why I am thinking along those lines…I was surprised at how many cute styles were online too!

Post # 8
888 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@Carrielicious:  I can agree with you that they are nice to have, and I would love to have them.  However, I agree with your fiance they are waste of money if you intend to send them to people.  I usually dispose of photos of other people unless they are very very close to me. 

Post # 9
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@orchidblooms: My Fiance was against them, too! I finally got him to agree to take some, and in the weeks leading up to our photo appointment, I showed him a bunch of engagement pics and Save-the-Date cards from Pinterest or Google images. He shot down EVERY SINGLE ONE, saying that they were all “cheesy.” I asked him what exactly he wanted on the cover of our invitation and Save-the-Date, and his response was, “I want to see a picture of us looking moderately happy at the idea of our wedding. No mountains, no fields, no beautiful backdrops.” While we took the pictures, he was counting the seconds until we were done.

Now fast forward to yesterday, when we got all of our engagement pictures back. HE LOVES THEM. Every cheesy one. His favorite one happens to include a waterfall. He loves them so much that he forwarded the photographer’s album to his friends (I didn’t even do that LOL).

So my advice is to coerce him into taking the photos, and then rub it in later when he loves them ๐Ÿ˜‰  And if he doesn’t come around to liking the idea of putting them on invitations or magnets, I would show him other uses for photos (like for the guestbook, or to blow up and hang in the reception area). 

Good luck!!

Post # 10
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My Fiance secretly planted his camera to take a photo of him proposing to me.

When I mentioned engagement photos he said “we already have one, from when I proposed” lol so cute

Initially, he thought the idea was kind of lame, and didn’t really understand.

I told him its a good idea to get ready and comfortable with getting photos done for our wedding, and to post it on our wedding website.

We are having a beach Destination Wedding (we’re from canada), so I told him i thought it’d be fun to contrast it with doing our e-photos in the snow! he liked it ๐Ÿ™‚ Hopefully doing it this winter ๐Ÿ™‚

I’d say try to think of something fun, rather than the typical “omg we’re in love” photos. he might like it

Post # 11
29 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

Firstly figure out why he is against it.

Is it a financial concern? Does he not like having his photo taken? If it is something that yo are at odds over he has a reason for the stance he has taken.

For my fiane it was a financial concern. At first this made me a little upset, but with time I realized he was right. It is very expensive for what it is. Compromise. Have a friend take them. They will probably come out just as nice if they are taken with a nice camera, and in a good location.

Post # 12
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Carrielicious:  You can also say that it helps him to get comfortable with your wedding photographer so that he can be more like himself on your wedding day and not feel conscious with a professional camera around. As a wedding photog I include engagement photos less for the purpose of having them to send out, but for the couple to get comfortable with me, trust me, and have fun. I would find out why your Fiance really doesn’t like them. Darling Husband didn’t like photos either because he was concerned about his privacy (he has a very public job), but eventually I convinced him that they were important to me and a good memento of different stages of our relationship, and he agreed (I may or may not have bribed him with a nice dinner…)

Post # 13
9682 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Carrielicious:  Our engagement session was included in our wedding photography package. It would have been silly not to get them done. Is that the case for you too? Having already paid for something is a good reason!

Post # 14
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

My Fiance was in the same boat as your Fiance, he thought they were a waste of money, and totally pointless (he HATES having his picture taken). We booked a photography package for our wedding that included an engagement session, and although he wasn’t thrilled about it, we did the e-session and enjoyed ourselves… and came away with gorgeous photos. We’ll be using our e-pics for our invitations, and our wedding website. Maybe express to him that it would mean a lot to you, and if it’s included in the cost of your wedding photography, what would the harm be?

Post # 15
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Here are some non-card reasons to do engagement photos:

1) get to know your photographer better. it feels really good going into the wedding, knowing your photographer and trusting their skills. some people don’t find out their photographer is awful until after the wedding – what a nightmare.
2) feel more comfortable in front of the camera. unless you’re a model, getting your photo taken can feel awkward. practice is good.
3) have good photos of one another looking great, in non-wedding clothes. let’s face it, years from now, you won’t look as good as you do now. might as well capture your youth.
4) have photos of pets or a special place. 

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