(Closed) FI and I cohabitate…FFIL asked how much we are paying for a 2-bdrm…..AWKWARD

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

Well I lived with my parents when we started dating, so first I had to do the awkward “I’m spending the night at my bf’s house” thing. It took me a few weeks to work up the nerve to say that, and then once I finally did she surprisingly said, “good, I’m happy for you.” and actually meant it.

So I wasn’t too worried about telling my mom I was going to move in with him. It was more my grandma that had an issue with it. She pretended, in her mind, that we were already married so it was ok. She would literally call him my husband. Whatever makes her happy!

Post # 4
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hahaha…I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but it’s a little funny 🙂 My parents didn’t say anything specifically, but I remember it being super awkward when we moved it together and I was talking to my mom about getting a new mattress, and she was like, oh, one mattress? And I was like, “Umm yess…for our one bed…” 

Post # 5
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My parent we’re very very very angry but we are financially independent so they couldn’t do anything about it.

Your Future Father-In-Law thought your sleeping in different bedrooms?! Awkward.

Post # 6
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

We dated for a year before living together, and my mom actually asked when we would be moving in together! haha. Needless to say, my mom is VERY liberal. His family was happy for us and didnt care at all.

Post # 8
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My parents seemed pretty calm when I told them my fiance and I were moving in together.  Which actually surprised me – I knew they weren’t opposed to cohabitation, but at the time I’d been dating my fiance for 3 months or so and they’d never met him.  Turned out, they moved in together after a similar period of time.  But I think they also figured that if I was making this decision, it must be a good one, which really felt nice.

My brother and his girlfriend moved in together last winter after 4-5 years of dating (they’re mid-twenties and few of their friends have gotten engaged/married yet).  My parents were ECSTATIC.  Their excitement over the two of them cohabitating was close to the excitement over me and my fiance getting engaged.

I know my family is a little extreme, but I do not know a single couple that waited until they were married to cohabitate.  I know one couple that got engaged when they moved in together, but that’s the closest.  Sometimes it can be a little bit of a shock to people from older generations, but it’s very, very normal and I would argue that there’s reasons why it’s a good idea.

Post # 9
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was subletting a creepy basement 1 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn prior to moving in with my Boyfriend or Best Friend (now he’s my DH), so my parents were psyched when I told him I was moving to a much safer neighborhood with someone they knew and trusted.

Post # 10
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I pretty much had to ask permission from my parents which they only granted because they were certain we would be engaged soon. And this is even though I am 32 and do not live in teh same country as them hahaha. West African parents..sheesh.

Post # 11
Member
11394 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Well, my husband & I are high school sweethearts. So when the time came when we could afford to move out on our own & start planing to get married, our parents was thrilled for us & expected it! My mom was sad though. But very happy for us at the same time, if that makes since. They all knew the days we had appointments to look at apartments, ect. So it was no surprise. My husband’s dad asked how much we are spending but it wasn’t akward. He just wanted to know in case he found something bigger for a better price. & He has found ALOT of nice houses, ect in our budget. But no pets allowed keeps us in our one bedroom apartment. lol

Post # 12
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My bf just started coming over more and more and made REALLYYYYYYYYYYY good friends with my parents as a result.

Then he slept over now and then in a different room. Then he snuck in now and then to my room. (More like every night Wink) My parents allowed him to sleep over because he was having major issues at his own house. They gave him ‘shelter’ basically.

Then we were just in the same room together before you know it. (He bought his own place and moved out shortly after but then still came over and I went over periodically.) I did not prefer to move in.

It was gradual and so seemed ‘okay’.

My parents are VERYYYYYYYYY liberal for South Asians. And we weren’t even all brought up here. I am/was in TOTAL SHOCK. “I” wasn’t whole-heartedly ok with having my bf over THAT much but my parents were surprisingly FINE with it. THAT’S awkward on a whole different level. Undecided

Post # 13
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I got a lecture on how my parents didn’t approve of cohabitating before marriage, but they didn’t do it in front of my husband (then BF).  I would have been 20 times more embarrassed if they had decided to rant on in front of him!

Post # 14
Member
5181 posts
Bee Keeper

omg LOL! I am sure you were going through hell but thats sooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!! Why were your parents and inlaws so dead set on you not living together? Very traditional?

Post # 15
Member
5181 posts
Bee Keeper

@Sasha2011: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!  SOUTH ASIAN??????????!!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do your parents happen to want to adopt me? please?

Post # 16
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hahhahha omg I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but laugh at that story!!

I moved in with my Fiance when I was 19 and he was 23. We had only been dating about 9 or 10 months I think. They were NOT happy, but I was an adult so there wasn’t much they could do.

It’s sometimes still an area of tension because my mom didn’t want to tell HER parents. Which meant not telling any of my aunts/uncles/cousins, etc for fear that word would get back to them.

After we got engaged I gave up on keeping secrets from my entire family and started dropping hints in conversation that we were living together. My mom flipped her shit, but honestly, we’re getting married next year and we’ve been living together for 5 years… I’m so over it!

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