(Closed) Fi and I have different ideas on “the perfect dress”

posted 9 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have been questioning my dress back because my biggest worry is that my Fiance won’t like it.  I told him about it and he said, "I will love it because you are wearing it." I don’t think we have the same taste but after he said that I haven’t questioned it again.

Post # 4
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with the previous poster.  Wear what you feel good in and once he sees it on you, he’ll think it’s gorgeous.

Post # 5
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

he may have some preconceived notions of wedding dresses?

i think he will be overwhelmed regardless, because you’ll be gorgeous, as long as it’s something you like! Go for it!!

Post # 7
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

You’ll look better to him if you feel amazing in your dress. Wear what you love, and he’ll love it on you!

Post # 8
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

Someone should totally get married in a crisp white tee.

I wouldn’t worry about it – seeing you all gorgeous in the dress is totally different than seeing a dress by itself. I love all sorts of dresses that would never look good on me, and there’s just nothing I can do about it. Better to wear something flattering than a pretty dress that swallows you alive.

My Fiance has kept mum on the opinions. He was gung-ho about getting married until the planning officially began, and now he’s wide-eyed and very "I’m really glad *you’re* planning all of this!" 

Post # 9
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Before I bought my dress I asked if my FH had a preference. He had no idea.  So I went ahead and bought my "dream" dress which is very simple and not at all a ballgown or typical wedding dress.  I think the dress is gorgeous even though there is no beading/tulle/poof etc.  It is very me and perfect for the outdoor country wedding we’ll be having.  A few weeks ago we were watching Bride Wars. My dress (in the front only) is very similar to the dress that Anne Hataway was wearing.  My FH said, "That doesn’t even look like a wedding dress!" I sucked in my breath and had a brief panic attack but then I let it go.  I know that when he sees me come down the aisle, he’ll love the dress no matter what!!

Post # 10
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree with the other posters- he’ll love whatever you choose.  If you want to help him see that a ballgown will swallow your tiny frame (and I’m also petite, so I had similar feelings about wearing such a poofy dress), you could take him dress shopping with you and intentionally try on a few big poofy dresses, so he can see that if you wear something like that, all he’ll see is the dress, rather than you.  Just a thought!

Post # 11
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I think he’ll love you in the dress you pick which flatters your body. Boys don’t always get that each style does not look the same on "real" people as they do on models. I think it is harder for them to picture your particular features in the dress so while he may like the princess style on the model, Iäm sure he’ll love you in a mermaid style when he sees how much it flatters your petite figure!

Post # 12
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

My Fiance also has much different ideas on what I should wear. He continues to show me very sexy styles where the bodice is very tight and low-cut. Everything I see, he dislikes. I have sworn off showing him any ideas. I know he will love anything I wear on the day of our wedding.

Guys don’t understand the concept of "the style doesn’t work on my body type", because they don’t have the selection in clothes that we do. It either fits them, or it doesn’t. And even if they see a horribly fitting gown on us, they still think it’s amazing.

Personally, I have enough things to stress about. No matter what he says now, he’ll be amazed when you walk down that aisle, no matter what you wear. So pick your dream dress and breathe. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I showed pics of dresses to my Fiance, too, and he also loved the traditional, poofy, princessy gowns. He felt a wedding dress should look like that. It looked awful on me! I would feel more self conscious wearing something that monstrous than I would anything else. Guys just don’t get it. I’m sure once he sees them on YOUR body, he will love it.

Have you tried a slim A-line? Those are a ‘little’ poofy but not at all like a ballgown. 

Post # 14
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Have you explained it to him the way you explained it to us? That alone might be enough!

I actually just went wedding dress shopping with a good friend who felt the same way – about 5’2" and tiny, and she said that the big dresses ‘wore her’ instead of her wearing the dress. She wanted something really less traditional.

The funny thing is this though – when I saw her selections on the hanger, I thought they were sleek, stylish, and gorgeous, but not ‘traditional’ bridal. Then, when she had them on with the veil and the jewelry and her happy bride self, it was like "Poof-voila!" she was 100% a beautiful bride! Maybe he is having the same disconnect of seeing them on the hanger and not realizing how different they will look on you on that day.

On a side note, my SIL is the tiniest little thing I have ever seen. Not quite five feet and a triple zero or whatever. She wanted the big poofy dress anyways and, when it was properly fitted and tailored to her size, she looked completely amazing. So if you do want to look at ‘big’ dresses, remember that the larger models they have in the store are not the same as a dress that has been fitted for your petite frame. 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t think you need to worry about it too much. It is very normal to have a difference in opinions especially on the style of dress because us women tend to know more about what makes us comfortable or what looks great on our body types. And since you said you are pretty petite a poofy dress would swallow you up.

I was in the same position though. My Fiance wanted me more in a slim body hugging style dress but that was just not happening. I am a pretty curvy girl with some curves in the wrong places and the last thing I wanted to do was grab attention to those areas. So I chose a ballgown type dress that sucks me in but hides most of my imperfections. In the end I won

Post # 16
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Girls don’t worry about your FI! This is your dress… your dream… he will love you in whatever you are wearing. Leave it a surprise for him.

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