(Closed) Fi and I having our first big tiff over $$!!!1

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

try negotiating with the vendor. start out by complimenting her pictures then tell her your budget and ask if there’s any way she can work within it.

Post # 5
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

This might be a total non-starter, but could you get her for $1000 if you don’t get the engagement photos? We never got any taken, and we’re sort of fine with it.

Our photographer came from Craigslist, and I think we were one of her first weddings as a lead photographer. She gave us an awesome deal so she could build her portfolio. You may want to look there, if you haven’t already.

Post # 6
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am so sorry honey! Bah sounds like the right feeling! I totally dislike the whole tradition that the brides family should pay for everything. Such a cop out! Things are different now and the idea that the brides family should pay came out of basically buying her into another family and in some cases buying their family into a better one or woman were just seen as a drain on a family because they couldn’t own property or make a contribution so the her family would have to give the grooms family incentive to take her on. Yuck!

Anyway, your Fiance should appreciate all your time, energy and funds you are putting into the wedding. No way should he think he is “in charge” or not help because he is technically giving more money. I would be worried he will see all of your future investments together in the same way. Very petty. I think 1200 is a good price if you like this photographer and it is sweet that she lowered her price for you. I would say to your Fiance, that you have looked everywhere and this is the best deal and you are running out of time to find a good photographer with an open date. If he doesn’t like it, he can find someone better!

Hope it all works out. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I have some relatives who would want gift whatever I really wanted.  Do you have anyone like this, where they would prefer you mention that you could use some help paying for the photographer as part of your gift, rather than saying nothing and forgoing a great photographer?

I realize this isn’t the greatest etiquette, but sometimes there are things more important with those you are closest to than being polite.

Post # 8
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I was also going to suggest dropping the engagement shoot, that should bring it down a bit. You can have a friend take nice photo’s of you if you really want engagement pics. But either way her price is reasonable.

Its not very nice of him to pull the money card on you and act like because you don’t make as much as he does you have to do more work etc… that’s not a good start to a partnership, marriage will be ALLLL about what’s mine is yours what’s yours is mine, not what’s mine is mine. 

Post # 9
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

mmm so he hasnt done much research personally?

my fi initially thought photographers should be under 1000 dollars. so i sent him links to ones i found and gave him a few days to do his own research…and he realised that though 1000 is a lot of money, we couldnt find a photographer under that amount in  the area we are having the wedding

i would forward him all the emails youve received and get him to read it. he may not mean to be dismissive, and its just the pressure of the finances/stress. and he may genuinely not realise that 1k or more is pretty standard for photos


Post # 10
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Could you offer to give up something in your daily life that could equal the differenc?  Like coffie, fast food, movies? Something??? It’s not like you are going $500 dollars over.  Maybe even ask a close realitive to chip in $100 to help or as a present like a pp said?  I really think you should stick to your guns, the photographer is really important and you are cutting out a lot already from what it sounds like.

Post # 11
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had originally set myself a budget of $1000 for photographers, but the cheapest photographers I found in my area were $179 an hour, with a minimum of 5 hours ($898). I think it’s very hard to find photographers for any less. We ended up hiring them for 7 hours and I would rather have had them for 8, but we didn’t want to fork up the extra $179. I’d say if you can get everything for under $1500 that you are doing good.

The other option is to book an amatuer, but honestly after the wedding is over the pictures and the video are all you have left. I think it’s unwise to scrimp on photography.

Post # 12
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

 @plzhalp:  i agree with this. actually i think 179 dollars an hour is an incredible deal, the minimum i found for my Destination Wedding was something like 300/hour

if she was trying to ask for money for one of the uber expensive photographers (eg daniel aguilar/elizzabth medina) who have a minimum 5k price tag, i think people would be telling her she needs to compromise. but here it seems like fi is a bit unreasonable



Post # 13
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I opened this thread thinking your first big tiff was over one dollar. πŸ˜›

Post # 15
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think your Fiance rejecting a photographer who’s work you like over $200 +tax is unreasonable. Can you explain to him you’ve compared photographers and her price is fair? Believe me, planning a wedding is stressful. My husband and I rarely fight/argue but the wedding planning put serious pressure on our relationship. Everyone survives but it just plain sucks!

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