(Closed) FI and I intentially weeded out certain people from our lives. Normal?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
522 posts
Busy bee

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@Cady:  +1


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@Arganique:  I think you were completely in the right! Just reading about them wearing your underwear made me livid! These people sound like a bunch of immature jerks.

There are definitely a few people I’ve weeded out of my life consciously after getting together with my boyfriend.

My college roommate and her (maybe still?) college boyfriend. I was friends with them for over a year before I met my boyfriend.  When I was in the process of getting together with my boyfriend they would talk shit saying things like he was out of my league (thanks? I thought you were my friends?!) and that he was too good for me.

Once we officially started dating they’d always have a snide thing to say (I put on my facebook status when it was our 6 month anniversary and the guy wrote something like “I’m surprised you haven’t made a baby yet. Congrats on only making semen stains” WHAT?! First of all I’m friends with my 12 year old cousins and my uncles and aunts on there. Second of all I have never discussed my love life with you guys and there have certainly been no “stains”.)

Needless to say those two are gone from my life. And also it goes without saying that my boyfriend hated them.

Post # 18
11161 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

As you and your DH grow and change you will find that certain people no longer “fit” within your new lives. That is totally expected, it is called maturing.

We have all been guilty of weeding out past friends when their priorities, maturity level and extra-curriculars don’t mesh well with our own. You don’t have to cut them out necessary but as I have done just let the friendships die out slowly by simply not being available.

We have a friend whose husband is very verbally abusive to women and well down right unpleasant. Recently they came to my best friend’s baby shower (he was NOT invited) and continued to go outside and smoke pot and then come back in. She would join him too. Needless to say we are currently weeding out this friendship.

Post # 19
4650 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is pretty similar to us. We’re both down to very few friends and all are very far away from us because the others just… didn’t hold up.

Post # 20
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

A lot of people go through this! I know me and Fiance have.

You can’t blame your friends for wanting to have the old you back, you guys used to have fun together. And they shouldn’t blame you for moving on because you’ve changed.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t usually work out that way. I would try to part as amicably as possible and be nice to them if you run into them. (That doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way, but just be cordial.) They may be in your past but they were your friends at some point. 

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