(Closed) FI attention to budget is sickening and taking the fun out of the planning….

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS)) Maybe have her look at less expensive options to see what she’s getting for the price.  Perhaps if she’d like to scale back on the total costs, maybe y’all could take on some DIY projects, instead of using a stationer you can definitely do the paper products yourselves and save tons!! Instead of having a dj, you can definitely do an ipod reception.  if the catering bill is large, definitely consider an earlier brunch reception or lunch, possibly passed hor dvoures…

Post # 4
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Is she making all the decisions, vendor wise? Have you both done tons of research into your vendors? Maybe part of her hesitation is her feeling of being bound to contracts with vendors she is unexcited about and unknowledgeable about? My big fears over money come when I feel I don’t have enough information to make the affordable AND exciting decision. How big is your budget? If you haven’t set a budget, maybe that’s the problem? Has she gotten her dress yet? When I ordered my dress my excitement level when up tons! 😀 Are you getting help from anyone? Maybe its not a “wedding” issue at all! Maybe its an after the wedding issue- she’s afraid that if you put all your money into the wedding, there will be none left over for a house and possibly kids? My Fiance has this worry. Maybe she has a general anxiety disorder?

Sit and talk to her. Ask her what she fears, exactly.  This calls for a good, frank discussion of your hopes, dreams, and fears for not just the wedding, but your futures!

Post # 7
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Poor thing :(… Great jobs on your dresses!!! It sounds like you are keeping costs at where they need to be… I have a strange question for you though, do you think she’d rather elope perhaps? Like go to vermont or a bed and breakfast and do something lower key?  Give her hugs from me and then show her how much other folks spend on weddings and let her know that y’all are doing a great job and this one day marks the first day of the rest of your lives together.

Post # 9
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think I was a little like your fiance… because it was my FI’s family paying, I felt all the pressure to keep costs down. 

What helped me was pricing out as many vendors as I could find, and then balancing cost vs. service provided.  It also helped me to negotiate my butt off.  I always felt good knocking off a chunk of change here or there. 

Finally, my Fiance sat me down and said at one point that sometimes it was worth going for the more expensive vendor when there was a superior product (and he would say that he preferred, for example, our caterer whose bid came in slightly higher than another).   I absolutely had to listen because I knew I was being kind of compulsive about it!

Post # 11
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’ll be waiting for an update :p

Post # 13
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yay… Good outcome!  Be patient with her when she relapses too 😉

Post # 15
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Aww glad to see you worked it out with her! I think it’s great that she’s trying to work on it and that you’re being so flexible! (Also, thank heavens my Fiance does not really know what anything costs. Hehe.)

The topic ‘FI attention to budget is sickening and taking the fun out of the planning….’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors