(Closed) FI changing his last name 2 months before wedding….

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t have the same situation where my Fiance wants to change his name but I do hear you on changing your last name.  My hertiage is very German and with that I have a super obnioux German name.  While I love the history and meaning of my last name I also can’t wait to change to a name that people can pronounce and spell!

Hopefully you will work it out with your Fiance.  I get where he is coming from but if a last name isn’t important to him is it worth changing?

Post # 4
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@FutureMrsClayshulte:  YES. My hubs did this before our wedding. For guys it’s a total pain to change their names, in our state we had to go to court to do it & it took about 4-5 months to do the whole process. Go to your county courthouse and they can give you details on what you have to do in your state. It’s easier in some states than others. Make sure you’d even be able to do it in time before you stress. If you can’t do in it time, then maybe do it later but before you have children? (with kids it gets even more complicated) and I’d wait to change your name until he decides what he’s doing. Good luck, it’s a pain in the ass! : (

Post # 5
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@VioletSky:  +1

 

It is fairly easy to change your last name as a woman who just got married, but in all other circumstances, it is a huge pain in the ass. Pretty much every state requires some sort of court approval. It is EXTREMELY unlikely that your Fiance will be able to complete the process before your wedding in 2 months, even if he literally started it today. I agree with PP, he probably thinks it’s just as simple as filling out some paperwork, but maybe once he realizes that it will take a long time for his name change to be approved, he won’t be so dead set on getting it done before the wedding, and you two can change it together down the road if he still wants to.

ETA: I had a friend who did this exact same thing for the exact same reason, and the entire process took him almost 7 months. It depends on the state how long it will take, but it will take a long time regardless of what state you’re in.

Post # 6
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

My SO has already changed his name once, and so has very strong opinions on it. He legally changed his name when he was 18 from his biological fathers’s name to the man who raised him and he calls Dad. However, his Dad and his mom have now divorced, so I was curious how he felt about keeping his step dad’s name. And after a long winded spcheel, he told me that he chose his name based off a man he resepected, and who still is his Dad, regardless of the divorce. I’ll be changing my name to his name, because that’s important to my SO (i threw out combining our names into one different last name, and he nixed that. darn it!)

 

He did say that changing his name was the worlds biggest hassle and part of the reason he wouldn’t do it is because of how long it took. He started the change before he was 18, so that may have added to it, but he was First Name Boyfriend or Best Friend Last name, then First Name Boyfriend or Best Friend Last Name-Dad Last name, and then finally First Name Dad Last name. It also cost him A LOT more then our female friends who changed their names at wedding, and he had to go to court and explain why he wanted to change his name. He said that the guy before him was denined his name change. It took him over a year to complete the legal name change.

 

Post # 7
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It is expensive! Ours was at least $700 with all the fees etc.

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I know a few people who did this, I think your Fi has strong emotional reasons for changing his name and it’s probably been on his mind for a longtime.

What does he plan on changing it too? Maybe his mother’s maiden name I assuming.

Anyways I think even it is complicated and cost a lot you should just support him. At the end of the day his feelings and reason are valid, and even though it sucks more important to monogrammed gifts.  There never a perfect time to do this and I actually think this is perfect timing, because it probably be a bigger clusterfuck if you changed your name to his current name, only to have both of you attempt to change your names again later.

Post # 10
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I understand his wanting to change it but maybe ask him to look in to it now but wait until after the wedding to make sure he is sure and just not burden himself with it now. I mean he only has to wait 2 months. That way he knows he is 100% sure because once he changes it and you change yours if he changes his mind again this is going to be a huge pain for both of you. It will already be a huge pain for him!

 

I looked up law in SC, your Fiance will need to be fingerprinted, have a background check done, pay fees and other stuff.

 

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