FI cheated. Don't know what to do

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 91
Member
3811 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

iceteebride :  Do not marry him. Cheating is one thing (an unforgiveable thing), but to do it in your house, in your bed? Fuck. That. Noise. That shows such an utter lack of respect. Dump this loser. 

Post # 92
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Iʻd send an email to all guests: “Due to finding the groom in bed with another woman, the wedding has been cancelled. Please refer to him for all reimbursements and refunds on things you may have already booked. “

Post # 93
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

iceteebride :  👏🏼You 👏🏼Leave👏🏼His👏🏼Cheating👏🏼Ass! 

Girl, you are too good for him. If he isn’t going to disrespect you like this, what do you think the rest of your life will be like? You’ll never be able to forget what happened. 

Be strong, know that YOU DID NOT WRONG! Say that mantra over and over. This is not your fault. 

Play Gloria Gaynor’s “I will survive” on repeat. 

 

Post # 94
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee

Good advice from all but I am missing the part where she returns home and packs up HIS shit, not hers. IJS…

Post # 96
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

First, I’m sorry this has happened to you.

1. you own that house, too. Don’t let this trauma blind you to the legal and practical matters at hand. You have equity in a home- you may not want to live there, but then you should be bought out or the house should be sold. Lawyer-stat.

2. Joint accounts- see above. 

3. Dog- is the dog yours, his, or both? This should get taken care of and it may be that right now, your friend or a trusted family member needs to speak with him about this.

4. What he did was profoundly disrespectful (and, hurtful, and disgusting, etc.). He took another woman to YOUR home and slept with her in YOUR bed. I’m guessing this was not the first time. It seems unlikely that the first time this happened that it was in your home- keep that in mind. I’m certain that you deserve better. As others have already mentioned, you should see your doctor.

5. You don’t have to speak with him now. But, I also wouldn’t cover for him. I’d have a friend or family member start canceling vendors. If you are using a wedding website and it has the availability to send out an email to all invited guests, I’d do that (Have a friend/family member call those who should be told in person). If anyone asks, I, personally, would give them the facts- I caught him in bed with another woman in our home. If that isn’t comfortable for you, a simple “it seemed that he would not be able to keep our wedding vows” should suffice. I’m a big fan of just presenting the facts, and he is the one who should be embarrassed by this- not you!

6. This is NOT your fault. You will get past this. You will be ok. Don’t be afraid to lean on others right now. Let people support you. Tell those who would be there for you.

 

Good luck!

Post # 98
Member
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

iceteebride :  I hope you left some dog shit in her suitcase. I know you’re never supposed to blame the other woman. But she has some balls to move into the home you two shared only a few days later.

YOU ARE SO STRONG!! I can’t imagine the hurt you must feel. But something tells me you will be just fine.

Post # 99
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

YASSS girlie!!

if you end up on maui for some R&R, Iʻm always up for a drink 😉

Block him entirely from everything and only communicate through the lawyer from here on out. Sell the house, cash out, pay off all your bills, and trade up to someone hotter and smarter 😉

Post # 100
Member
69 posts
Worker bee

Now you’ve got some fight going in you, good for you. That’s a good way to get the energy to do the things you need to do. 

And of course you were in shock but clearly you are no ninny. I actually think you were smart and it probably served you well to stay quiet, to let it sink in, you needed time to process.

I hope everyone knows what a lying cheating bastard he’s been and how stupid he is too have lost someone as wonderful as I know you must be. And what kind of a whore moves into another woman’s man’s house.?..let alone hooks up with another woman’s man?…that’s  one I will never understand.  

Post # 101
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

There’s another poster on here whose fiancé cheated on her with a coworker who he then married less than a year after she found out about their affair. This was two years ago. Her ex-fiancé is now getting a divorce from that woman because – you guessed it – she was cheating on him with another coworker. These kinds of people don’t change.

Let little miss pink suitcase have her shitburger and eat it too. Your ex is no prize to be won, no matter how much she think she’s come out on top of all of this. They’ll both get what’s coming to them eventually. 

Take care of yourself during this time and allow yourself to grieve. Calling off a wedding is tough and painful, but marrying a man you know is unfaithful sets you up for a lifetime of torture. 

You’ll be okay. xo

Post # 103
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

iceteebride :  Come on over, girlie! I canʻt surf to save my soul though 😉 haha

Post # 104
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

Hi Bee, thank you for updating us! Glad to hear that you have had the strength to buckle up and take action ASAP. Your diligence during such a difficult time is admirable. I know I definitely wouldn’t be able to keep it together if I were in your shoes.

He’s moving the new girl into YOUR house and has the nerve to ask you if you two can work it out?! Is he really that stupid? They both sound like awful people and will get what is coming to them eventually.  Their disgusting characters are really showing. You are much better off without! He probably shit his pants when you told him you were telling people the truth about him. I think you’ve said all you needed to say to him, and no need to speak further except through your attorney.

Grab a girlfriend and have a nice get away with someone who appreciates you for the great person you are! Love and light to you, everything will work itself out.

Post # 105
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Look at you! You sound more confident now & angry – I LIKE IT! What a POS. As for the white suitecase, I would have bleached it – ha. Get your shit together, sell the house, & find you a new piece of hott ass. I’m glad you’re feeling better and aren’t going back to him. Of course it’s hard, but whats this small period of heartache compared to the rest of your life? NADA!

I’m in vegas if you ever wanna have a drink or gamble that wedding $$ 😉

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