(Closed) FI critizing everything in the wedding!

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 17
Member
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@jbbs1222:  I see. I was thinking that some (more) financial commitment from his end might increase his desire for involvement and force his hand a bit in terms of what he actually wants.

Maybe you should try a different approach and instead of asking him about aspects of the wedding (to which you already know his answer — he “doesnt care”), let him know that since this wedding is the celebration of your union, you feel very personally connected to all of the decisions and it hurts your feelings when he criticises things in a completely non-constructive way. Presumably he does care about your feelings so maybe phrasing it that way will reach him.

From there I would say that this doesnt mean he can’t express his opinion if it isnt totally positive — just that, since this affects your feelings, please either give some feedback when initially asked so you can avoid choosing things he dislikes from the get-go, or give some constructive reasons behind why he doesnt like something so you can make necessary changes. And if he can’t do either of those things, then please keep hurtful comments that dont actually help anything to himself.

Post # 18
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Fiance has been a little bit the same, no interest in the details and then when i bring options to him, he shoots them all down. I blew up last week and said fine, you do it then! He was quite startled until i explained to him how much time i was spending to try and get this all organised, meanwhile he was doing nothing except say no to my options and make me go back and have to find more options. I told him unless he was willing to look into things and do some planning that he was going to have to go with some of the options i was giving him. He’s been fine since then but man was it frustrating! I think you just need to have a proper heart to heart to sort out your issues. good luck.

Post # 19
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This is probably stemming from his insecurities about not having a job and his natural anxieties over getting married.  But at the same time, he needs to either get more involved or learn to be more gracious.

Post # 21
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jbbs1222:  myDH was like that in the beginning stages. Once he tagged along for a few meetings he shut his mouth 🙂 and gave me full control lol.

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