Post # 1
I’ve been thinking and thinking of what to get Fiance for Valentine’s Day. I got him a sweet card and some candy, and was trying to think of what else. I figured I’d take him out bowling because he loves doing that. I also bought a sweet book online that other bees mentioned that you fill in with reasons why you love your SO.
Well, the day is here, and Fiance got me nothing. It makes me really sad, because he knows that I love holidays, and small gifts. If he got me a card and maybe a bottle of wine or something I would be so happy and feel so loved. But nothing.
Last year he got me some jewelry and a nail gift certificate. Very sweet. But I just feel so sad because I feel like he doesn’t feel that he needs to put in the effort now we’re engaged?
He said, “pick out somewhere you want to eat and we’ll go”. What? I said most places would probably be booked. He said, well pick out something. 🙁
Post # 3
@whycantwejustgetalong: I can relate. Last year I made amazing Valentines Day plans and gifts for Darling Husband, it was our first married Valentines Day, our 8 year dating anniversary and the anniversary of when he proposed!
I started a brand new job that day with a 45 minute commute and it was a blizzard, but I still came home and cooked up a storm, decorated our apartment, got super pretty and greated Darling Husband from work. He ate the food and then started playing video games. I didn’t get a Happy Valentines day or card or anything…
needless to say, I have planned nothing for this year. Meh.
Post # 4
I feel ya! Last year, Fiance (who is NOT into Valentine’s Day) had flowers delivered to me at work, which was so, so sweet (and out of character for him). I thought he might do it again this year, as he was SO proud of himself last year, but it’s 4:00 and I leave work at 4:30, so I don’t think it’s happening.
Oh, well! I’m still excited for a great at-home dinner with him. And all I got him was a card, so I can’t really complain.
ETA: Fiance just texted me “So, uh, I hate to ruin surprises, but did you receive anything today?” Maybe there’s still hope!
Post # 5
Oh! Also, I have 3 coworkers in my office, all women.
The first comes in with a beautiful new chocolate pearl necklace
The next got a dozen roses delivered
then the third’s husband dropped by with a bunch of goodies for her.
I am the only one who’s husband did nothing so far… but its not like I am surprised.
Post # 6
@whycantwejustgetalong: Yeesh, that sucks. Unless you agreed not to do anything this year, I’d speak up so that he doesn’t think it’s ok to forget holidays when you’re married. Because it’s obviously a little important to you just to be acknowledged. We get married in one week and agreed just to cook dinner and dessert. However, we still both got cards and a couple small things (candy, etc.).
I wonder if he just forgot?
Post # 7
@whycantwejustgetalong: Girl I so feel you! This is our first engaged Valentines Day too, and while it’s never been a big deal for us, I know for a fact I’m not getting a card or anything. We decided awhile back to go to a beer festival tonight (with a bunch of our single friends) but that’s a Presidents Day beer festival, not for Valentines Day. It would be really, really, really nice if he made any kind of effort..a card would be really nice. There has been no “happy Valentines Day” said at all either.
Earlier today, I messaged him a link to a pretty morganite ring I’ve had my eye on ($330) and jokingly said “if you’re still looking for something for Valentine’s Day” expecting him to say his normal “if I had that money it would go into the wedding savings account, but maybe in the future!”
Nope. He said “I’d rather burn $330 than spend it on that right now.” WHAT? He’s so crabby anymore, his work makes him an awful person to talk to sometimes.
Post # 8
@ebarnes0: Oh hon, that’s so rude of him to reply like that! Sorry about that. I just think guys don’t see Valentine’s day like we do. It’s just nice to feel special and appreciated, even if it’s just something small. I hope you guys have fun at the beer festival, that actually sounds pretty fun!
Post # 9
Is valentines day over where you are? Maybe he is bringing something home for you?
I know my fi is at work right now!
Post # 10
@whycantwejustgetalong: days not over yet. don’t worry perhaps its all about mis-direction. make you think one thing and then something happens. i say wait and see….
Post # 11
I just got engaged on Wednesday and me and my new fiance arent even seeing each other today lol. He hates Valentines with a passion and tbh so do I. People get so caught up in what they should or shouldnt be doing. My amazing bf took me to london and took me to see the harry potter tour (which he is NOT a fan) because I always wanted to go. he shows me love constantly and I could not feel any more love. I kissed him good bye this morning as i left his bed for work and we havent even wished each other happy vday. It’s not important. Our relationship and how he treats me generally is.
Post # 12
@whycantwejustgetalong: The day isn’t over yet! Did you tell him where you want to go? If it’s that you hate the idea of picking the place because you want him to plan it, you have to tell him that. Literally, you have to spell out exactly what you want. My FH is not the romantic type, doesn’t do a lot of “suprises”. And I love him the way he is. We agreed we are having a nice dinner on Monday (he works Fridays, we are too busy this weekend), and we are both looking forward to that. But, if I had waited for him to put something together, it wouldn’t have happened.
Post # 13
We had the day off due to the weather. However, the roads are driveable.
Post # 14
@libertine_lady: I agree, the way you treat each other matter way more than a holiday. But for me, I like to feel special once in a while. I also was raised to celebrate holidays, and my parents have always given me little things on holidays which is why I think they matter to me so much. I don’t know why this is bothering me so much.
Post # 15
@bourkelton: Good point. I think I should have just planned something. I think he just didn’t know what to do.
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
I got my SO a t-shirt for our very first valentines day together. he didn’t get me anything and it was kind of awkward. since then, we haven’t practiced the holiday. honestly, I got over it after that first year and I really don’t care anymore.