(Closed) FI Doesn't See an Issue…

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry hun. Money issues are tough and depressing. But just realize it’s not forever. You won’t be in this financial situation permanently.  It’ll get better.

Post # 4
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve never heard of one spouse’s credit score affecting the other, unless there are joint accounts that are in default. I worked with credit scores for years, and while it was typical to see couples with similar scores, that was more likely because financially responsible people tend to marry other financially responsible people, and likewise for financially irresponsible people.

If something was rejected because of both of your scores, I’d say your husband should probably request a copy of his report to make sure everything is accurate. It is highly unlikely he was deemed undesirable because of a utility dispute.

Good luck to both of you!

Post # 6
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So I think that you need to listen to your Maid/Matron of Honor.  You are freaking yourself out, getting into what you agree is a panic attack, which is not productive and stresses out those around you as well.  It sounds like your Fiance isn’t so much ignoring it as trying to not discuss it with you because it makes you go crazy.  Credit can be fixed or repaired – this is not a permanent issue.  He’s not going to leave you over this, but you need to clam down to be able to discuss it rationally with him.  Make yourself a plan of attack for resolving this debt by taking them to small claims court yourself or another option, but the key part is to plan out baby steps so you feel like you’re accomplishing something.  Just that might be enough to convince them to settle with you.  There may be law students in the area that can assist you as well – just look around.

Post # 7
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

First of all you should take care of yourself because how frazzled you are affects others around you. I don’t see you having a proper sit-down talk about this with your husband until you do. And you definitely have to have a calm and adult talk about finances and the reality of the consequences you face for the fraudulent debt. He can’t just ignore the situation.

Here’s my suggestion: try to apply to a few more apartments. If you’re rejected at all of them, then definitely postpone the wedding. I understand you want the big celebration but you simply can’t afford it, and in the meantime, you’re legally married, so there’s that. For now host a small dinner party for a few family members and friends.

Post # 8
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Pay off the debt FIRST before you get married. Otherwise it will just be put on the back burner where it will continue to grow exponentially, much to your chagrin.

You do not want to take this into your marriage. You will have other/better things to think about and do. Wink

I had about $18,000 in student loan debt a couple of years before I got married. I continued paying it off VIGOROUSLY even after we got engaged and had to save up for the wedding. I didn’t deviate from it at all. I didn’t buy anything for myself. And I am VERY GLAD to have done that. Wedding causes a LOT of stress. You don’t need a dirty debt hangin’ over your head.

Post # 9
8091 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Now we’re legally married…, planning a big to do in the South, and we can’t afford our apartment and save for the wedding at the same time.

Are you saying that you’re moving into a smaller place so you can afford a 6-hour party when you’re already married?

It sounds like the stress of your financial situation is causing a rift in your marriage, and that it would actually be much better for the two of you to use your wedding fund to pay off your bills first, and then have the big party, when it will actually be fun and festive rather than a huge burden and source of arguements. I have been accused of being practical though.

Post # 11
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@shadowblind:  *HUGS* Sorry about how stressful things have gotten for you.  With insurance being as expensive as it is, I can’t fault anyone for getting the legal paperwork together so you can share benefits.  My Fiance and I went through the same thing and it tooks months of dealing with the collection company and creditors before we finally got everything cleared up. 

First thing is, keep records of the time, date, and name of the people you talk to and try to use email to contact so you have things in writing.  I did not use a lawyer, but was eventually able to get the 3 credit agencies to remove this.  I had to supply tax returns, lease agreements, utility bills, etc in order to verify his location when the account was first opened.  PM me if you want.  Best of luck with everything.

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