- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
In FI’s mind, it has basically come down to ‘the wedding I want or the future we want’. In other words, he doesn’t care much for the wedding day. He would be happy with a community hall, buffet, no flowers and just be done with it. On the other hand I feel like my wedding day should be special, and that I should get fond memories of it, not just remember it as a penny pinching exercise.
Now, we agreed on a venue together. He knew the costs from the outset, I’ve never tried to hide anything from him. Perhaps he just didn’t realise that it would cost so much for all things wedding related, I don’t know. But basically he is telling me to cut everything ‘unnecessary’. I do understand this a bit, but he won’t cut the few things he is responsible for. For example, his mum is giving him £500 for him to hire any car he wants for the weekend. Because this is a gift from him mum, he won’t consider getting a cheaper car and using the other money to fund other bits of the wedding, for example his suit hire.
Now this wouldn’t be too bad – except he’s barely paying for anything in the wedding. I knew this would be the case when we started planning – he has been doing a masters degree, and working part time, but only just makes enough for rent, bills, fuel for his car etc. Fine. Except it just seems he has no appreciation that I would like to spend my hard earned money on enjoying my wedding! It feels like he doesn’t appreciate that I am paying for most of it, with my dad paying for around half. His parents have given us the same amount too, but have said it is to go towards wedding/honemoon/deposit for a house, and we’ve both agreed we would like as much as possible to go towards a deposit, but he kicked off today when I said we might have to use some for the wedding.
Bees, I’m not extravagant. Our flowers will be the cheapest quote I’ve found, we’re making our own centre pieces, our caterer is the cheapest we found. He wants me to do my own hair & make up, and the same for my BMs.
I guess I am looking for some support/people who have been in similar situations, but also for budget saving ideas, without cutting the core things down? We don’t have a videographer, we have 1 photographer (the cheapest decent one I could find!), basic cake, basic decorations, I’m paying for his groomsmens’ suits and his suit. I just don’t know what more I can do to try and make him happy without just cancelling the whole thing and going to the registry office!