- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Basically every few weeks my sister has a night in at hers and usually me and FI go over. We live in a nice enough area, it’s about a half hour walk home, in the summer it’s lovely to walk back together in the evening.
But today FI decided he couldn’t go because he’s got work very early tomorrow, and Sunday too. I get that, so I went alone. He walked me a little part of the way there mainly so we had a chance to chat before I vanished for a while.
So when it was time for me to leave my sister’s, she told me to be careful going back and to call FI and tell him when I was leaving. I did, and remembered that earlier he’d offered to come halfway and walk me back.
A little backstory: When I was 14, I was followed, beaten and robbed by some sad kids who were a few years older than me. Because of that I feel really nervous about being out on my own in the dark – I’m not anxious or jumpy, just very aware of myself. I’m otherwise totally fine, in the day I’m happy to go places alone but when it’s dark out and I’m alone, I get nervous.
FI did meet me halfway, in fact more than halfway, but the first thing he said when he saw me is ‘I don’t get why you’re scared’. He knows about my nerves being out alone at night but then proceeded to make me feel guilty by telling me that he has work in the morning and doesn’t see why he needed to come down and protect me when I’m a fully grown adult and should be able to take care of myself.
Let me clarify that I didn’t ASK him to come down, but when he offered I did accept. FI agrees that he offered to come and he knew I’d get home safely anyway, but he still feels the need to point out to me that my fears are silly.
I can see where he’s coming from, but it does hurt my feelings to see my fears dismissed so easily. We’ve both dropped it now, it didn’t lead to an argument or anything, but now I feel bad he came out to walk me home. He did it because he loves me, but it still bothers me that he doesn’t understand WHY it helps me. Am I being too sensitive?