Post # 1
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
Hi bees!
I need some help/advice.
So, I am getting married in May and want to start TTC right away. I have always wanted children young (I am 27, Fiance is 29). I have been a full time nanny for infants for 4 years so I more than know what I am getting myself into.
He is not ready, and wants to wait a few years. I am having a really hard time trying not to pressure him, and to come to terms with it. I am scared we will have trouble getting pregnant and that I won’t have a child until well into my 30’s (which is fine), but not what I want.
If you have been in this situation, how did you deal with it?
Thanks!
Post # 3
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
@Future Mrs.L: Is there any reason that you are worried about having trouble conceiving? Family history, past medical history, etc? If he’s definitely not ready right now, it looks like you might have to wait a while. But maybe he’d be willing to start trying in a year or two; it’s not that far away, and you can still take steps to ready yourself/saving $$$ for baby-making. Plus, if you put a timeline on it, for example 2 years, he might start thinking about the reality of it/get excited, and want to try sooner. That happend with my ex; we were targeting 5 years after marriage, and then it got moved up to 4, and then 3, etc.
Post # 4
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
Yes, I have been there. Still am. I have daughter and for my boyfriend that’s enough. But i really really really want to have another baby. It does drive me crazy, but i’m sort of coming to terms with it. Wich took me about 2 years though.
So, first advice: hang in there. It’s going to be tough and you won’t feel so great all of the time, but you will not feel sucky every minute of every day. Know that the anxiety you’re feeling will pass (and come back, but that will also pass). Besides: he does want to so Yay!
Second: no, pressuring him may not be a good idea but you should talk to him about it! When you are upset just tell him your upset. Without accusing him of anything. But you have a right to feel how you feel and he is the one to support you through rough patches. It’s kinda his job as your SO right?
Also: you might be able to compromise. Talk to him about that. Ask him about his timeframe and ask him about the things he needs/wants to do before starting a family.