(Closed) FI doesn’t want to give +1s

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have a sort of similar situation with a few of my friends.  I have a handful of single friends.  I’m giving them a plus one to be courteous but I doubt VERY much they’re going to bring a random date to my wedding.

I’m going to imagine that if those people know other people at the wedding, they are not going to bring some random they have to entertain all evening.  They would probably rather hang out with friends.  I would give them the plus one as a courtesy, personally.

Post # 4
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I’m totally in a similar situation with a big group of college friends and we said only if they had significant others at the time that the invites get mailed…I think it’s really nice if you have the space/funds to allow a +1 for everyone but it’s not totally necessary, I don’t think…

Post # 6
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We aren’t doing +1’s because basically everyone who is coming is married! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Personally, I think since they are all friends and they all know each other I wouldn’t extend the +1 rule either. Like your Fiance, I wouldn’t want someone to bring just anyone random.  That’s just me though because I wouldn’t bring someone random if I wasn’t in a relationship with them already.  Especially if there are going to be a lot of people there I already know.

Post # 8
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with your Fiance, we’re not allowing for +1s either, with the exception of a FI/spouse. In my opinion, a wedding just isn’t the place for a random date and the guests their we genuinely want there. But that’s just me ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@hilsy: I just changed the last sentence in my post.  I would give them the plus one if you have room/funds and then assume that most won’t bring one.  Just to avoid drama and not start the nonsense of “so and so got invited with a date and I didn’t blah blah blah”

Post # 10
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

No, I don’t think they need a +1 unless the only people they know are in the bridal party and will be too busy to spend time with them.  As it is, 10+ friends is a big group!  And it never hurts to get to know new people. 

Post # 11
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

i only have +1’s to single people who didn’t really know anyone else at the wedding.  if they will know 20 or so other people at the wedding, it’s going to be fun because they get to hang out, catch up and celebrate with you. no date necessary, in my opinion.

Post # 13
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Do not feel pressured to offer +1s in this situation. If they all know each other from college, they’ll have a great time with each other. Your Fiance knows his friends and if he thinks they’d bring a random person they hadn’t been with for very long, then he’s probably right. No reason to run up your guest count for +1s that neither you nor Fiance has even met, when the friends will have plenty of company to enjoy themselves with.

I like the rule someone used for their wedding: +1 only offered to people who are married/engaged/living together, or who will not know a single other living soul at the wedding. Obviously in that case they’d want a +1 so they have someone to converse with.

Post # 14
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I would only give +1s to people in relationships…or those that won’t know anyone at the wedding or have to travel.  your situation seems perfect for no +1s, and if it is a bunch of young single guys, they might very well take advantage and bring random girls without knowing any better!

Post # 15
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are not allowing plus ones for people who are single. Our general rule is that if they have been dating someone 1+ year then they can bring their SO

I think you need to draw the line somewhere so don’t try to follow everyone’s dating habits. It gets exhausting ๐Ÿ™‚ I think not inviting +1s is pretty common these days. I also don’t like the idea of having random people at my wedding who will not feel responsible for their actions because they do not know us. It’s also just too expensive to give everyone a +1.

Post # 16
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with everyone here, especially as those 20 people know each other.

 

 

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