(Closed) FI dropping girl home after work – would this bother you?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would this bother you?

    Hell yes!

    Of course not!

    Well, kinda... (Please elaborate in post!)

  • Post # 152
    Member
    1850 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    View original reply
    @Syzygy88:  Oh my gosh yes. Feeler questions lol

    Post # 153
    Member
    430 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    This wouldn’t bother me at all – in fact today my boss drove me home from work because it was insanely cold and he felt bad having me walk / take public transit when he practically passes right by my house.  FI has never met him but thought my boss was very thoughtful.

    Post # 154
    Member
    4334 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    My H recently went on a 4 day business trip to the other side of a country with a single female co-worker about his age. I have/had not a single concern. 

    Post # 155
    Member
    1891 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I know this is terrible but it would bother me to an extent. Fiance has NEVER done ANYTHING to make me doubt his trust, but I have unfortunately always been very insecure in my looks and personality. My imagination would go wild with all sorts of things that the girl had that I didn’t and it would take off from there. 

    However, I am sane enough to realize its the nice thing to do (to give a someone a ride). I would not be upset at Fiance, but he would immediately sense my insecurity when he came home and would talk me out of it.  

    Post # 156
    Member
    651 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No issue whatsoever. I am dropped home late at night by the men I work with because it’s safer than me using transit and it cuts travel time in 2/3. They are being nice and I graciously accept. Sometimes I even ask for a ride because it’s winter and it’s cold and I want to get home ASAP.

    Get this – my husband works with an office full of women and, dun dun dun, they have to go out of time and travel in the same car and stay in the same hotels, and oh my god… nothing happens. Seriously, we are adults and if I can’t trust him to stick to his vows then what the hell are we doing here? Best part, the last staff retreat they had swuare dancing and twerking lessons (picture a bunch of middle aged women and my husband tryign to twerk… it’s hilarious!) They are public servants so they do really funny “bonding/team building excercises. The manager is a riot!

    If I had a problem or if he had a problem with us being in cars, travelling with, or having friendships with opposite sex people then this marraige would never of happened. We don’t have time for that level of jealousy and insecurity. 

    Food for thought: if a person is bisexual, and you subscribe to the notion that you can’t be friends with a sex youa r attracted to (ie. opposite sex if you are straight) then who can you be friends with? Hmmm…. right?

    Post # 157
    Member
    651 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @Syzygy88:  It’s really cool that you can read other people’s minds, even ones you don’t know. Can you teach the rest of us your awesome power?

    Post # 159
    Member
    1489 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Nope wouldn’t care!  Now if it became a regular thing, I’d be telling him he needs to ask her for gas money, lololol!  

    Post # 160
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Definitely wouldn’t bother me. I have quite a few male friends that I work with, and we’ve played in sports leagues outside work where they would pick me up and drop me off at home, with me being the only female in the car.

    I am quite secure in my relationship, and this would be totally fine by me!

    Post # 161
    Member
    4943 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @linnylou_88:  Nope, wouldn’t bother me. My husband also has many female friends from before we met…none of this is an issue for me. 🙂

    Post # 162
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee

    I’d be proud he was such an awesome guy. And secretly hope she was married and he had made us a new couple friend. And she was my shoe size and had an awesome purse collection. Seriously my husband is the opposite of the kind of guy I’d worry about. I know some men that dated friends I’d raise an eyebrow because they always seemed ‘on the lookout’. So it varies by individual I suppose.

    Post # 163
    Member
    164 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I AM the lady who asks for rides from my married coworkers(male and female) LOL. Depending on my shift, if we leave at the same time I do ask for a lift home.

    I am epileptic so I don’t drive. I only live a few blocks from where I live so I normally walk but if it is snowy/raining/sierra desert weather I ask for ride.

    Everyone is very kind about it but I never thought that their spouses could be bothered by this.

    Post # 164
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I used to get rides home from a guy I worked with. He drove past my place on the way in anyway, and the office was across town. It was very expensive and took me ages by public transport (my only option at the time) and he had a company car with free petrol. It made total sense for him to drive me in, but it made his wife MEGA uncomfortable, which in turn made me uncomfortable.

    She came in to the office to visit a couple of times with their two small children (bearing in mind she had to drive across the city to do this) and he introduced them to me. She didn’t look me in the eye or say anything when I said hi. According to one of the girls I worked with, when she walked in he mentioned to his wife ‘Let’s go meet Punchy!’ and she rolled her eyes and said ‘great, I can go meet the woman you spend more time with than me’. I didn’t find out until much later and was completely appaled that she would come into MY workplace and say something like that. The whole situation was entirely innocent but her attitude about it and comment in front of my coworker made me really uncomfortable and embarrassed. I grew up with an older brother and always had guy friends, so an opposite sex platonic friendship is pretty normal to me. I work in a male-dominated industry (programming) and if I couldn’t make friends with guys I’d be pretty lonely at work. My partner never had an issue with me getting rides, and I wouldn’t have one with him getting/giving rides either if it was a case of going by that persons house + free petrol like it was with me.

    Post # 164
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Yes it would. I would rather him grab a taxi for her and pay for her then drive her.

     

    As long as she doesn’t have to go to the ER/hospital then he should not be driving any females home in his car.

    And I would do the same. I wouldn’t drop some guy (even if he was my friend) home UNLESS my SO is with me in the car.

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