(Closed) FI even more pissed about GM’s wedding plans

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7386 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Did the Groomsmen even stop to think that lots of pre-wedding festivities (i.e. bachelor party etc) often happen the weekend before?  Sounds selfish to me!

Post # 4
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

And does he plan on going on a honeymoon? If he does, then he essentially just conflicted himself with his previous obligation!

Post # 5
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

These people sound flaky (changing their wedding date twice within a day?) so I wonder if Groomsmen has even thought this through.  Obviously your Fiance would have a difficult, if not impossible, time making the wedding if it’s the week before yours.  And if Groomsmen goes on a honeymoon right after the wedding, he’s def not going to make it back in time for your wedding.

I’d just have Fiance present these points to him.  If he’s still going to have the wedding at that time, then his loss, I guess.

Post # 6
1580 posts
Bumble bee

My only concern with this would be that if the Groomsmen goes on a honeymoon, how would he be able to be in your wedding?

It sounds like they haven’t really decided on anything yet, so they might just be considering different options.

I don’t get what the big deal is about attending someone else’s wedding the weekend before your own.

Post # 7
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

They haven’t put down deposits, have they?  Does your Fiance have the kind of relationship with this dude where he could say, “Um, not to butt in, but you’re sort of setting yourself up for a fall here.”

(Hoping Groomsmen is just oblivious and not actually being mean.)

Post # 8
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

yes, he won’t be able to attend your wedding if he’s on his honeymoon… if that decision is final, then i guess the other questions are pretty easy to answer- mutually don’t attend either wedding.

Unless you can plan far enough ahead to not have stuff pile up the week before, then it’d be no problem.. We had to travel far for our wedding, so all of the wedding stuff was done weeks in advance. I would recommend that to ANYONE, destination bride or local bride. There is enough emotionally going on to have to worry about folding and tucking and doing last minute things.  Just my 2 cents!

Post # 9
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Well, since Fiance was regretting asking the Groomsmen, wouldn’t he be able to use GM’s honey moon as a means to let Groomsmen back out?  Then at least you wouldn’t have to deal with him @ your wedding and it would be a “graceful” way to get him out.

Post # 11
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna

Just my 2 cents but I would say do yourself a favor and boot the Groomsmen out now.  If he really is as selfish as it sounds you will not want him around at your wedding.  Let him have his wedding the weekend before because now you have a good reason to ask him to step down.

Post # 12
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

yeahhh… i want to be optimistic here but it sounds a little Single White Female… pretty soon he’ll be copying your FI’s hairstyle and calling you up on the phone, haha.

Post # 14
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m surprised it didn’t occur to me in your last post that this guy is such a nitwit.  I mean, your POV made sense, your FI’s made sense.  This guy??  Has no IDEA what he is doing.  He’s probably just copying what you’ve done because he’s 1) a douche and 2) too clueless to figure it out himself.  Your fiance should have a good talk with him about what seriously goes into the days before and after a wedding.  Make it clear the he understands the commitment he’s making to his own wedding and if he wants to change dates / back out, it’ll be ok either way. 

Post # 16
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe it’ll be ok. Guys can be less subtle and get away with it better than women.

Unless Groomsmen runs to his Fiance and she plants crazy in his ear.

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