Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm
Money matters are always tricky. When we were first engaged my FI’s family thought my family might WANT to pay for our wedding on their own. I felt that was a little weird to hear because to me, we were in the age where the mentality was more like: let’s split the cost. That is unless you can pay for your wedding, or one family is much better off so the balance might naturally be tipped. Neither of which is our situation. As it turns out both sides are contributing make our wedding happen, though I will say my family taking on more expenses, and we are trying to save up to help as well.
Our balance is fine and all are happy, but I am still curious, did your FI’s family make a contribution or is the tradition of the bride’s family paying still alive?
Post # 3
My FI’s mother is hosting the rehearsal dinner and brunch on the morning after our wedding…otherwise my parents are footing the bill.
Post # 4
My mom has given me some money I’m using toward the wedding, but no, FH and I are paying for everything. I would feel weird at my age for my parents to pay for everything.
My brother is also getting married soon and his finace’s family is paying for their wedding.
Post # 5
I am not yet engaged, but have been told that my future FI’s family will be helping out a bit. I’m glad to hear that, but not sure whether to accept any money. We are both young (22), but I have been planning on paying for my wedding myself. I know that my family has no extra money to contribute, so I’m not sure that I feel right accepting money from my bf’s family. Is anyone else in this situation?
Post # 6
My husband’s family paid for the rehearsal dinner and his grandpa gave us $5,000 towards the wedding. We contributed about $2,000 of our own money. My parents contibuted $10,000 of their money. That was it. Fairly traditional I guess.
Post # 7
My parents are paying for the wedding, my FI’s family is going do the rehersal dinner. So for us, Traditional is alive and well. My FI’s family is not really in a place that they would be able to help out too much, but they continue to offer to help where and when they can, and for that, I am incredibly grateful!
Post # 8
My parents were prepared to pay for the wedding; my fiancee’s family was generous enough to chip in…they will probably end up paying 30% of the total cost, plus the rehearsal dinner. They’ve been really nice and I got very lucky.
Post # 9
We paid for everything, so my husband’s family didn’t give us a dime. And for the wedding, we also just got an empty card with well wishes.
Post # 10
To be honest with you I’m paying for almost everything. I was told there would be a contribution from my Future Mother-In-Law which she backed out of 6 months before and my Future Father-In-Law is only giving minimal amount of money, which I do appreciate although I was told it would be more. My mom is still contributing what she said she was from the beginning. So needless to say things have been a bit difficult and stressful. I have to cut things here and there to fit the "new budget". My Fiance is trying to sell his low rider mini truck to help pay for the wedding and our future home. I know things will all work out its just hard when you have things envisioned a certain way and then it all comes crashing down. I suppose I should just be happy to be marrying my man!
Post # 11
My parents are paying for everything except the rehearsal dinner and the male attire. My Future Mother-In-Law has expressed a desire to pay for the men’s attire (I suspect so that she can see her grandsons/ushers in tuxes), but it saves my family some money so I’m not opposed to her contribution! She also payed the (very low) deposit on the venue.
Post # 12
My parents are paying for everything wedding-related, aside from little expenses (wedding bands, the officiant, stationary) that we can pick up. FI’s family is paying for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon.
Post # 13
We paid for everything. His parent’s are deceased and mine are broke.
Post # 14
his parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner
my parents are paying for 40% of the wedding and us 60%
I feel bad, bc sometimes I wish the inlaws would give us more $ instead of throwing such a fancy rehearsal dinner.
Post # 15
My Fiance family is paying for the wedding and the rehearsal dinner, except for about $6000 (my dress, photography and videography). Our families are on extreme specturms of the wage scale–his dad is a surgeon while mine works a factory job. They offered to pay for it. HOWEVER as a result…we have run into some issues:
It has come to a point where I feel that because they are paying for it, everything has to be the way they want. With invitations for example, although the invitations I wanted were slightly more expensive (and I offered to cover the difference immediately when I suggested I LOVED the more expensive ones), basically I was lectured by my Fiance that I have to be more gracious, implying that I’m not grateful that they’re even paying for the wedding. I was very upset, because it IS my wedding! Basically, I have to take a back seat to planning. Either we pay and it’s my way, or they pay and it’s their way.
I guess in the end, they are giving us the biggest gift of all–leaving us without the burden of wedding debt and such. I’ve realized I have to just keep my mouth shut.
Post # 16
At our age and with our families situation we truly did not expect any help. My Future Mother-In-Law & Future Father-In-Law are graciously offering us 6 months rent free in their finished basement (we’d been planning to move nayway, so this is a huge bonus) and my own mom is contributing a great deal. We’re paying about half ourselves, but thankfully it will come directly from our rent savings! The best part is that no one is putting any pressure on us (yet anyway) to do things how *they* want!
I’ve had a few friends marry recently and one set split the bill based on % of guests. Her side had about 60% so that’s how much her parents paid. I thought that was a great idea (if your families are splitting the tab that is!)