(Closed) FI Family Threatening to Not Attend Wedding

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it is too much of an inconvenience for them to come to your wedding.  Oh well.  I would see it as a blessing.  Who needs this toxticity in their lives?

Post # 4
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@acthespian:  I wouldn’t give it much thought anymore. It seems like nothing will make them happy. All you can do now is tell them you hope to see them there and if they can’t make it, you’ll understand. And go one with your planning. 

Post # 5
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@acthespian:  I feel your frustration & pain…I am going through something somewhat similar (posted a vent just today) from my Future In-Laws. My FH is their only son, and they have threatened him multiple times that they would disown him & not attend the wedding, even before we were engaged/sent out invitations/etc.  Apparently I am the worst woman he could ever marry, and I’m awful enough for them to disown their son. I agree with Silly_love in that you should just let them know that you both hope that they will come to the wedding – but try not to let them bother you too much with their negativity.

Post # 6
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Silly_love:  Totally agree. Who needs all that drama?

Post # 7
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I honestly think you’re handling it well…don’t cater to her or attempt to because it seems like it will be pretty useless and unappreciated.

Post # 8
1848 posts
Buzzing bee

Stay out of it and let your Fiance handle them.  An email from you will do nothing but inflame an already bad situation.  My advice as a 4 time MOB?  Call their bluff.  The next time they tell Fiance they are thinking of not attending the wedding, he needs to calmly tell them, “I’m sorry to hear that.  You will be missed.” and then not engage in any further conversation about it.  If he does that enough times without emotion, they might just knock it off.

Post # 9
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@acthespian:  Read the post I just posted… 


FI’s family has been AWFUL. If there is a word worse than that….then it’s that. None of them like me. Never have. They weren’t a fan of his ex wife either…

Anyway, if I told you what’s happened it would read like a Lifetime movie. We have just worked on ignoring them. Advice from a therapist. 

We are adults, starting a new life together. They either act right & are a part of it or they don’t. You and Fiance have to get really good boundaries. Together. Unite. 

I do feel your pain….xo

Post # 10
4477 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m hoping for your sake that this batch of passive-aggressive drama queens follows through and doesn’t show up.  All the stuff they’re complaining about’s totally unreasonable, but the 45 minute drive thing’s a hoot – I know many people who drive that much every day just to get to work.


i’m sorry, they sound like a nightmare.  it sounds like you’re dealing with them graciously (which is more than they deserve).

Post # 11
4477 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@hermom:  +1 good advice

Post # 12
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@acthespian:  If FPIL are going to be unnecessarily negative and crazy, I’d rather them not bother us with all that drama before the wedding either.  The silent treatment or not bringing their drama to the wedding can be a blessing in disguise. here’s my thread that’s a bit similar to your situation in case any comments there are helpful for you – http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/what-to-do-regarding-ffil-fmil-advice-needed?replies=6#post-6516325

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