(Closed) FI Family’s getting a little ridiculous…

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

yikes… do they not have children of their own?  That is a really weird expectation from and aunt.  I would have your Fiance suggest to them that if they would like some sort of special moment they should plan a toast or something for the rehearsal dinner… thats a much more appropriate place.

Post # 4
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, that is a bit absurd! If they are actually serious you need to make it clear that as hosts, you feel it would be a bit much to ask your guests to sit through all of that. Perhaps your Fiance can dance with them all, just not to their own special songs! What does he think of their requests?

Post # 5
5656 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

That is just beyond ridiculous. Tell your Fiance to set them straight.

Post # 6
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

OMG that is just ridiculous!  I know the feeling about the in-laws trying to call shots, it’s super annoying.  I would have Fiance put his foot down and tell them no but sorry not gonna happen.  It’s not fair to you or your guests to have to sit there and watch him dance with each of his aunts alone.  That’s just really weird to me.

Post # 7
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Um wow…well if he chooses not to tell them, they’ll find out at the wedding! LOL

Post # 8
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ugh! Fiance just needs to set them straight. At least he doesn’t want to dance with each of his aunts, or you’d have that argument on your hands. My FI’s family has been really annoying too. My family is paying for the wedding and FI’s mom is paying for the rehearsal dinner. Both of our parents are divorced so when we had to ask our parents for the list of people they wanted invited to the wedding, we had to ask for four lists. We asked for “must haves” and “nice to haves” for the guestlists. That was a bad idea. My mom asked for my aunts/uncles/cousins to be on the must haves, and a few friends that I know well for nice to haves. My dad just asked for my uncle, cousin, and cousin’s wife. My FI’s parents on the other hand, again who are not paying, had absurd lists. His mom had 18 must have couples (all friends of hers) and his dad had 15 must have couples (again all friends). We cut the list down, but his parents keep bugging him about getting to add more guests. His dad even told him he was “disappointed in him” because he didn’t get to have a couple my Fiance has never met invited to the wedding! And he’s NOT PAYING FOR ANYTHING. Ok vent over.

Post # 9
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Must be my day for saying just let it go.  Who knows what all will happen on your special day.  You have real stuff that you can control to worry about.  Even if the DJ plays request- you will be  having such a great time you wont notice

Post # 10
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ugh! In-laws! LOL. I’ve had enough issues with mine to understand how ridiculous they can be. Did your FH actually talk to them? Or can he have his mom/dad speak to them. I think normal/rational people understand its a crazy request but “the aunts” don’t understand.

Post # 11
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ewww. So not cool. If I were a guest and had to sit through 30-40 min of solo dances, it would be a huge buzz kill.

I’m surprised his mom would be ok with sharing the spotlight with them, it’s like recognizing them as equal to the mother of the groom.

Your Fiance should put his foot down now, and for goodness sake, don’t let them start picking out songs. That is just CRAZY.

I would also talk to your DJ beforehand to make sure those solo dance do not happen on the actual day.

Post # 12
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Wow…he definitely needs to set them straight about this now. You don’t want a ton of drama the day of the wedding b/c one of the aunts can’t have her dance with him. I would also make sure your DJ is aware of this beforehand to make sure the crazy aunts don’t get their way!

Post # 13
113 posts
Blushing bee

No way! My dj stated if i didnt mind people making requests but hed never play anythig the bride said no to. but if i wasnt open to requests then hed have them go to my go to person like the MC and the MC could politley tell them maybe not such a great idea!

Post # 14
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Try your best to not get annoyed with them – they love your Fiance and are excited about the wedding.  That said – it’s easy to get carried away and I’d just ‘forget’ you ever heard the conversation.  If it comes up again, tell Fiance he HAS to say something to them and tell them it’s not going to happen, but he looks forward to dancing with them on the dance floor (with everyone else).

I don’t see anything wrong with letting them pick out a few of their favorite songs and adding it to your play list – just give it to the DJ and then you can blame him if they don’t get played. 🙂  You might also give your DJ a heads up that he might get requests from the aunts and tell him how you want it handled.

Hang in there!!

Post # 15
2700 posts
Sugar bee

That is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard. I think you and your Fiance should sit down and lay out ground rules together. How does he feel about dancing with his aunts? Does he think it’s odd too?

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