Post # 1
So I’m not sure if i’m looking for advice or to just vent a bit. My Fiance family is very nice, but I’m starting to feel a little…annoyed? I guess. We went over for dinner the other night and all his aunts were there (they all live close, and get together on a weekly basis). So they start talking about all the requests they’re going to make with the Dj. They’re making lists of songs! that kind of bothered me a bit…we’re making our own play/do not play list. but I kind of brushed it off… thinking they can request a few songs. Then, they’re talking about each song they’re going to dance to individually with my Fiance. There are 3 aunts, his mother and his grandmother. He is doing a mother/son dance…but all three of his aunts and his grandmother want their own special song with him. Not to just request, then dance to with all the guests…but like, alone on the dance floor, with him while everyone is watching. I thought they were kidding, but they were dead serious! Two of his aunts even said they want to be introduced with the wedding party! Again, i’m laughing…they’re not. Now, his family is not helping pay for any of the actual wedding. His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, but my parents , Fiance and I are paying for everything else. I almost left there feeling like his family is acting like this is their party and they can call the shots! They weren’t asking any of these things. they were TELLING us what’s going to happen that day. Some of the songs they want to request are ridiculous! His aunt wants to dance with him to “I will always love you”?
I’m not sure if they really expect me (and all our guests) to sit by for 20-30 minutes (or more!) while he takes his turn dancing with each of them! I’m a quiet person, so at the time I was kind of sitting there, staring in shock as they’re talking. He assures me that this will not happen, but the problem is, they really expect it to!! I think he needs to set them straight NOW so they’re not being told on the wedding day that their requests are not going to happen!
Ok got that off my chest. Anyone out there have any off the wall demands from their family, or Fiance family?
Post # 3
yikes… do they not have children of their own? That is a really weird expectation from and aunt. I would have your Fiance suggest to them that if they would like some sort of special moment they should plan a toast or something for the rehearsal dinner… thats a much more appropriate place.
Post # 4
Wow, that is a bit absurd! If they are actually serious you need to make it clear that as hosts, you feel it would be a bit much to ask your guests to sit through all of that. Perhaps your Fiance can dance with them all, just not to their own special songs! What does he think of their requests?
Post # 5
That is just beyond ridiculous. Tell your Fiance to set them straight.
Post # 6
OMG that is just ridiculous! I know the feeling about the in-laws trying to call shots, it’s super annoying. I would have Fiance put his foot down and tell them no but sorry not gonna happen. It’s not fair to you or your guests to have to sit there and watch him dance with each of his aunts alone. That’s just really weird to me.
Post # 7
Um wow…well if he chooses not to tell them, they’ll find out at the wedding! LOL
Post # 8
Ugh! Fiance just needs to set them straight. At least he doesn’t want to dance with each of his aunts, or you’d have that argument on your hands. My FI’s family has been really annoying too. My family is paying for the wedding and FI’s mom is paying for the rehearsal dinner. Both of our parents are divorced so when we had to ask our parents for the list of people they wanted invited to the wedding, we had to ask for four lists. We asked for “must haves” and “nice to haves” for the guestlists. That was a bad idea. My mom asked for my aunts/uncles/cousins to be on the must haves, and a few friends that I know well for nice to haves. My dad just asked for my uncle, cousin, and cousin’s wife. My FI’s parents on the other hand, again who are not paying, had absurd lists. His mom had 18 must have couples (all friends of hers) and his dad had 15 must have couples (again all friends). We cut the list down, but his parents keep bugging him about getting to add more guests. His dad even told him he was “disappointed in him” because he didn’t get to have a couple my Fiance has never met invited to the wedding! And he’s NOT PAYING FOR ANYTHING. Ok vent over.
Post # 9
Must be my day for saying just let it go. Who knows what all will happen on your special day. You have real stuff that you can control to worry about. Even if the DJ plays request- you will be having such a great time you wont notice
Post # 10
Ugh! In-laws! LOL. I’ve had enough issues with mine to understand how ridiculous they can be. Did your FH actually talk to them? Or can he have his mom/dad speak to them. I think normal/rational people understand its a crazy request but “the aunts” don’t understand.
Post # 11
Ewww. So not cool. If I were a guest and had to sit through 30-40 min of solo dances, it would be a huge buzz kill.
I’m surprised his mom would be ok with sharing the spotlight with them, it’s like recognizing them as equal to the mother of the groom.
Your Fiance should put his foot down now, and for goodness sake, don’t let them start picking out songs. That is just CRAZY.
I would also talk to your DJ beforehand to make sure those solo dance do not happen on the actual day.
Post # 12
Wow…he definitely needs to set them straight about this now. You don’t want a ton of drama the day of the wedding b/c one of the aunts can’t have her dance with him. I would also make sure your DJ is aware of this beforehand to make sure the crazy aunts don’t get their way!
Post # 13
No way! My dj stated if i didnt mind people making requests but hed never play anythig the bride said no to. but if i wasnt open to requests then hed have them go to my go to person like the MC and the MC could politley tell them maybe not such a great idea!
Post # 14
Try your best to not get annoyed with them – they love your Fiance and are excited about the wedding. That said – it’s easy to get carried away and I’d just ‘forget’ you ever heard the conversation. If it comes up again, tell Fiance he HAS to say something to them and tell them it’s not going to happen, but he looks forward to dancing with them on the dance floor (with everyone else).
I don’t see anything wrong with letting them pick out a few of their favorite songs and adding it to your play list – just give it to the DJ and then you can blame him if they don’t get played. 🙂 You might also give your DJ a heads up that he might get requests from the aunts and tell him how you want it handled.
Hang in there!!
Post # 15
That is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard. I think you and your Fiance should sit down and lay out ground rules together. How does he feel about dancing with his aunts? Does he think it’s odd too?
Post # 16
Thanks everyone! My Fiance is in agreement that none of this can happen, but unfortunately he just writes it off as them being”crazy” and is kind of ignoring it! I’m staying on him though that this needs to be clairified to them BEFORE the wedding that none of this is happening, no matter what they think.
None of them have children..so yes, i understand that he’s the first to get married and this is special for them. He also has three sisters though so they have plenty of weddings that HIS family will be paying for that they can take the spotlight at! I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like sitting by myself at my own wedding for a half hour while he dances with his family one by one. And i’m sure none of the guests would appreciate it either.
His family means well, but they all LOVE attention…they’re very loud, and outgoing people. I know his family makes up half the guest list, and i’m sure they’d love their moment in the sun in front of their whole family..but i think they’re forgetting MY family and our friends will be there too, and I’m sure their idea of entertainment is not watching all these solo dances! I’m definitely going to add some of their songs to our playlist though…I’m not strict about that.