- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
My FH and his brother don’t speak to each other. This is a fairly recent turn of events. FH wanted Future Brother-In-Law to be his best man when we first got engaged. The two of them have different personalities and they often had disagreements, but they would “blow over” in a week or so.
But things started to get quite tense last summer. FBIL’s girlfriend moved in with Future Brother-In-Law – which wouldn’t be an issue, except the brothers own the house together. FH & I live states away now, but FH still was paying half the mortgage. They had trouble agreeing on rent for the girlfriend (and it was eventually settled on $0)… then she started to encourage Future Brother-In-Law to not allow family (including FH) to visit. By January Future Brother-In-Law had sent a letter to his parents saying that no family members were welcome in his home, and he had a lawyer contact FH threatening public auction of the jointly owned property.
FH has since agreed to sell his portion of the house to his brother – but that’s been dragging on for months. FBIL’s financing fell through (at least once) according to Future Father-In-Law. I’m starting to get worried about it – I own a house, and if the buyout isn’t complete before FH and I marry I’ll be saddled with any consequences of bad choices that come from the pissing contest these brothers are having.
I was really hoping that Future Brother-In-Law would be pleasant and resolve the sale quickly – I wanted to think the best of him, and think that the lawyer was only involved because he didn’t know how to do the sale on his own. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. And as the drama drags on my hope that the two brothers will reconcile dwindles. (Those hopes were further dashed when we received a save the date for FBIL’s wedding to the same Girlfriend that has banned family visits.) FH can be pretty hard headed – his brother isn’t invited to our wedding. And we won’t be attending theirs.
I guess I’m a softie, but it really bothers me that they can cut each other out of their lives. I’ve tried (all along) to remind FH that his brother is family and we shouldn’t burn bridges, but the letter from the lawyer was kerosene and a match in his eyes. I know I can’t change his mind… but I’m not sure how to deal with it either.