(Closed) FI finds his wedding speech awkward

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

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Mrstobe26:  He can thank them in the speech. Thank them for being there to celebrate with you. Money shouldn’t factor into a speech when you are standing up to thank everyone for being able to celebrate with you on your wedding day. No need to even worry that you’re favoring on set of parents over the other. Thank them the same way.

You don’t really say “hey thanks mr and mrs so and so for paying for our whole wedding!” 

 

Post # 3
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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Mrstobe26:  Agree with PP. Thank them for being there to celebrate, then maybe throw in an ackowledgement of your parents about welcoming him to the family. I think it’s appropriate in this kind of speech to acknowledge his new in-laws and no one would expect anything different. The speech really doesn’t have to be long. Thanking his folks for showing up is enough (worded more nicely, of course).

Post # 4
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

My future in laws aren’t helping pay for anything and we’re paying for them to fly out here since they can’t afford it. We’re paying for our own wedding. Our speech will not be directed at anyone in particular, but our guests as a whole. They’re probably paying more attention to his siblings because your Fiance doesn’t need their help anymore. So why would they focus on him? They’re trying to fix their own mistakes with their other kids. 

Post # 5
Member
8686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

We made a general thank you for coming announcement at the end but we didn’t have a speech. I didn’t know this was a thing…..

 

Post # 9
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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Mrstobe26:  Tough situation to be in, that’s for sure. Good luck to him and you both!

Post # 11
Member
7502 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Firstly, it’s really tacky to bring up money in any sort of less-than-private situation, so it’s awkward and not appropriate for him to thank your parents for spending all that money on the wedding during his speech.

That said, he can always thank his parents for raising him to be the kind of man that you would want to marry. And he can always thank the guests for spending the day with you. There are a whole lot of things to be thankful for and to acknowledge, other than money. It sounds like your fi has a bee in his bonnet over his parents not contributing their money or time to your wedding and he needs to get over that.

Post # 13
Member
7502 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

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Mrstobe26:  They don’t have to be interested in your wedding. It would be nice if they were, but I think by the time you are old enough to get married, you should be old enough to understand that some people are more interested in their own selves and their own things than they are in you. Which is perfectly okay.  I think you and your fi both need to focus on what you have and not what someone else gets, and if your fi’s parents do not express gratitude when you give them lavish gifts, then either give the gifts with no expectation of gratitude or just stop giving lavish gifts.

Post # 14
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

What if he doesn’t give the speech?  What if you do?  I gave a short speech at our wedding because my DH really didn’t feel comfortable speaking in front of people more than he had to, whereas I do it for a living.  I just quickly thanked both sets of parents for all of their support and love and then I thanked the wedding party for their friendship and then all the guests for coming and celebrating with us.  It was 30 seconds, tops!

Post # 15
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

So do his parents live far?

What did you want them to come down for and participate in for the wedding? 

I really don’t think adults need their parents involved in all this stuff.  Like  do you think his mom should have come down to watch him try on suits? Or did you really want his father’s opinion on your venue? 

You already said they are broke and don’t have money, plus they are supporting their other children as well..

I think you are being very unfair. They obviously don’t have the life and means your parents do to be able to throw money at their children frivolously for weddings and such. 

I know it’s hard for your Fi as he doesn’t seem appreciated but if they have adult children that keep messing up..Most of the attention goes to them I’m sure a lot if negative energy you don’t even see.  

It does such for Fi though.  Not the money issue, I find that silly and unfair. You shouldn’t expect your (general your) parents to foot any part of the wedding and don’t com pair one side that does contribute to the other. But I’m sure he wants to be more emotionally supported by them.  If I were him though I would remember that they raised me. They loved him as a child no matter what he feels now. They provided for him and he wouldn’t be who he is today without them. 

 

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