(Closed) FI freaked out over marriage book

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Pickel: That’s a really disconcerting response.

DH’s uncle got us a marriage prep book for Christmas last year (he’s a marriage and family therapist) and we were boy happy to read it. It’s called the 7 Principles to Making Marriage Work (or something like that).

Did either of his ex-wives read a book that led them to accuse him of not being the partner they needed?

I would try and figure out why just seeing the book upset him so much.

Post # 4
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I read both of those books! The Gary Chapman book does not say anything weird or earth shattering!

It’s possible that like something else was bothering him, other than just the fact that you were reading books.

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Pickel: It really does sound like something happened in the past with regards to these types of books that has scarred him.

 

Post # 7
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

It would concern me that on his third marriage, he doesn’t seem to think it might take more work than what he had previously offered. If you keep doing what you’ve always done . . .

I’d ask him to read them WITH you, and if he finds anything alarming in them he can point it out as you go along and you can both discuss your opinion on what the author is saying and see how or if it should apply to your relationship.

Post # 9
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance could care less what I read. However, when he saw me reading marriage books, he kept his mouth shut. I think it was out of fear that I would start to talk to him about it or compare our relationship to the ones in the book. While I think all guys are afraid of these books, a response like his does not make you feel good!

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