(Closed) FI gets offered Pay Raise in exchange for ending our relationship!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I hope your fiance sternly told them to shove their pay raise and the job up their ass. Sounds like he needs to find another job,and then try to mend the relationship with his parents. Also he needs to arrange a meeting between you and his family somehow. Maybe having never met you is what is causing some (unneccesary) resentment.

Post # 4
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is psycho behaviour.

Why is your Fiance working for his family if they treat him like this?

The answer is simple to me: he needs to find another job. I know that isn’t the easiest thing to do but seriously, his parents can NOT control his life like that and he has to be the one to stand up to them.

Post # 5
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

He needs to quit today and find a new job. That’s ridiculous.

Post # 6
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Your Fiance needs to get a new job!!!!

Post # 7
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jeye7161: What does your Fiance say to them? Has he looked for other jobs?

If his parents are being so unfair to him, maybe he shouldn’t work for them anymore.

Going off now to read why they haven’t met you yet.

Post # 8
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Cut the apron strings. Seriously! He needs to get away from them as quickly as possible. That is insane behavior.

Post # 9
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Wow, who are some of these people who walk the earth.  He needs to call get some of this in writing and get a freakin lawyer.  This is extortion, bribery, blackmail, something!

Post # 10
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@mjchexum: amen!

If i was Fiance i would be PISSED they are holding this over his head.

Post # 11
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am also 27, and from an old fashioned, overprotective family. My Fiance to be is divorced and has twin daughters and a son who i adore. I am not going to lie, it was very hard for my parents (and us) when I first started dating him. However they have welcomed him, and support me because although they are worried about my future, they want me to be happy. I agree with the previous comments he needs to find a new job ASAP, and law down the law – This is my life, this is who I love, if you love me you’ll accept it, end of story.

I am very sorry for what you are going through, and promise it will get better. 

Post # 12
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So I a bit confused on why this has been going on for so long…I remember your post a few months ago about the difficulties between your Fiance and his family at work and I am wondering why he hasn’t quit yet….???

Post # 13
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I hope that he can find another job -pronto.  They sound like they are SICK!  I am so sorry for you. 

Post # 14
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Time for your Fiance to quit that job and find another one! 

Post # 15
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Wow! How awful! I can certainly understand why you are so upset about this! Hugs!

 

Deeeeep breaths! You mentioned that you are thinking about calling it off. First off, remember that you are marrying your Fiance, not his family. Second, it sounds like your Fiance told you about this– which is good that he is being honest with you. It sounds like he is a good guy and loves you and your son very much. That is wonderful!

That being said, the two of you need to figure out how to handle this together. If his family is interfering so much, then perhaps he should take another job. Perhaps he should distance himself from his family for a bit, and then work on repairing the relationship once he is not dependent on them for his salary. You must also figure out if you can stand this once you guys are married. His parents are always going to be around, and you might not want to deal with them (if your Fiance doesn’t stick up for you) long term. So I would take a step back and figure out how you and your Fiance can make this work together.

Post # 16
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m wondering if that is even legal….

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