(Closed) FI getting upset with finances/Wedding!

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

MissNC:  I dunno…I’d be ticked if my husband told me I was being “irresponsible” with the money I earn.  Especially if it’s on something like food.  Perhaps your choice of words was a bit confrontational?

Post # 3
Member
975 posts
Busy bee

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MissNC:  What about opening up 2 checking accts (one for each of you) and putting your spending money in there? That way, he can spend his how he wants and vice versa. Once the money is gone, you have to wait until the next paycheck before you can buy your “wants”. 

Post # 4
Member
8488 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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MissNC:  Did he agree to the budget and saving goals? If not, it’s going to be a constant source of friction. You need to come up with a specific plan that is realistic and that you both agree with. If he did agree but is going against it anyway, either he doesn’t really agree, or he thought that would work and found it’s not, or he’s being careless and needs to pay more attention. If he’s being careless, PPs solution of each having “your own” spending account should help.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by Daisy_Mae.
Post # 5
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I second the idea of the two accounts.  Trust me, my DH and I both learned real fast how to prioritize spending money.  For example, my DH has been using his personal spending money to save for a new piece of equipment for his hobby of welding.  He went out with buddies and spent a lot of money on the bar tab and he is kicking himself for it, knowing that it’s going to be an extra week longer than he wanted just for a dumb night out.  Maybe when your DH has responsibility for his own money and sees where it is going and how far it goes, he can start to see how beneficial saving is.

Post # 6
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Let him help (or even take over) bills and budgeting and hopefully he will become more accountable and responsible.  It helps when you can see where the money is going (It’s like kids bugging their parents for toy money because they don’t understand it’s going in to their college fund).  

Really though, if that’s how he wants to spend money, you can’t change that.  You can’t force someone to share your values.   

Post # 8
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

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MissNC:  I think you need to reorganize your accounts, and have a very clear budget plan.

Fiance and I budgeted out how much we thought we could save each month, then set up a separate account for the wedding/honeymoon budget.

Based on the total budget, we split up what we could spend on different things (being realistic about what they’d cost). Then we prioritize putting that money into a separate account each month.

By keeping it in his main account, he may just find it way too tempting to spend it. I think you need to have a clear discussion of priorities, then separate the money that’s for wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
2569 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
MissNC:  one thing i do is take out cash. If i have 60 for the week it’s what i take out and use. Now i can’t mistakenly go over because it’s right in front of me. I know once the 60 is gone i can’t dip into my bank account. 

Post # 10
Member
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would sit down and work out a budget together. He obviously doesn’t really get your budget, probably because he wasn’t involved in it. Since he doesn’t understand it, he’s ignoring it. But this is definitely something you need to figure out together. Even if you elope to the courthouse, you’re going to have to learn how to save for other things like a house, kids, retirement, etc. 

Post # 11
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would have one account for spending and one for bills, gas etc.  That way you can’t go over by accident.  My DH is terrible for doing things like that.

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