(Closed) FI goes by his middle name..wants his first name on everything for the wedding

posted 7 years ago in Names
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Maybe you could put his first and middle name on everything. Like Steven Jack…that way people will know its him

Post # 4
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My Fiance goes by his middle name.  On the invite, we put First Middle Lastname.  But, we used the name he goes by in the service and on other stuff.  I wouldn’t feel right vowing to marry NOT FI!

Could you put Firstname “Jack” Lastname?

Post # 5
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Hmm. My husband is one of those guys with a formal name who go by an obvious casual version/nickname. (Think John for Jonathon, or Mike for Michael, etc.) We used the “John” version on just about everything except our invitations, which were very formal, and thus used his formal name. Does that help?

Post # 6
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s his name, his wishes should govern. Anyone who can’t figure out that you’re not marrying an 80 year old who happens to have the same name as your Fiance isn’t trying very hard.

Post # 7
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My husband goes by his middle name, but he wanted his full name on everything, too–after all it is his name. We just did his First Middle on all correspondence and no one was confused.

Post # 8
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Darling Husband goes by his first and middle intials by everyone.  I insisted by going by his first name since it was formal.  Personally it didn’t bug or freak me out.

I did get miffed at my Mother-In-Law because she got our serving set and put his initials and my nickname on her serving set.  She did it becasue they charged per letter and it was cheaper.  (rolls eyes)

Post # 9
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would let him.  It is his name, afterall.  People will understand.  Lots of people do that. 

Post # 10
4151 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@tiki429: My ex went by his initials.  Always had doen from a young age (mum called him by his initials).  When I found out his “real” name I was godbsmacked, and reverted to calling him by his initials.

OP, I would say it is his name, but as others have said can you not use both?  A friend of mine interchanges his first and middle.  He’s Charles Benjamin.  His family and the people he grew up with (including me) call him Ben.  His newer friends (university/work) call him Charlie.  When we went to a big birthday of his everyone got confused!

Post # 12
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m struggling with my FI’s name as well. He goes by a shortened version of his middle name so I’m not exactly sure which name to put where. Most everyone knows so there isn’t an issue for people being confused. I’m using both of our full names on the formal invites, though, just to be sure everyone realizes its him. The biggest issue I’m running into, though, is monograms…I’d like to have our initals on some things at the reception but don’t know which of his initals to use.

Post # 13
932 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I LOVE my first name.  I think it’s beautiful, classy, elegant, and I so wish people would call me by it.

But they don’t.  They’ve always called me by a nickname, which isn’t even a traditional nickname for my first name (i.e. not like “Jenn” for “Jennifer” or “Jess” for “Jessica” or something).  A lot of people who’ve always known me by my nickname don’t even realize that it’s not my REAL name.

I had a super hard time justifying using my actual first name on wedding stuff, or Facebook, or whatever.  I am still constantly worried that people won’t know who I am, so I end up using my nickname, and then I NEVER get to use my real name.  It’s even worse now that I’ve taken my husband’s last name, because people have NO idea who the heck I am.  When I used Realfirstname Maidenname, people could at least figure out that I was based on my maiden name.  But now that I want to be Realfirstname Marriedname, they have no clue.

So, from someone who’s spent a lifetime regretting the fact that she never feels like she can use her own damn name because other people will be confused, I say let your Fiance use his and deal with it.  🙂


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