- Mrs. Gremmlin
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
So… My fiance and I live in a city with a super high cost of living, and we have been doing so for over a year with my salary basically supporting us, while he has worked part time (not for lack of trying…). He recently had a string of good fortune and had four interviews in three weeks. I’ll spare you all the details, but he was offered a job (yay!) yesterday that pays nearly double what he’s currently making (super yay!). However, he failed to ask any questions about benefits or… time off for our quickly approaching wedding. Enter drama.
He works in science and was found through a recruiter. Apparently, for the first six months, he’s actually employed by the recruiting agency… and has no access to any benefits or paid time off until after the six months. Yes, fellow bees, our wedding is in four months (as of yesterday). Also, we live in the DC area and are getting married in Florida. We have a big six day planning extravaganza planned for Labor Day weekend– flights already purchased.
Well, he just got the call that his new boss will give some (unpaid) time off for our wedding. This is okay because the salary increase is so large that we’ll end up equal to where we are now for that month. BUT, his boss won’t give him the days off in September. I understand he’s super new, but this is our wedding… and it’s important to me that he be there. We’ve only met with our venue’s coordinator in person. This means I have to do the cake tasting, food tasting, DJ planning, venue planning, and tuxes without him there. My dad can go with me, which is great, but this is really upsetting to me. And I certainly can’t get engagement pictures done without Mr. Gremmlin, which were planned with our photographer.
I understand this isn’t the end of the world, but we’ve been doing this together and looking so forward to this. It hurt me more that he was upset with me because “I made him feel bad” about not being able to come. He knew what my reaction would be! I said we’d figure it out, and I would just have to go alone. Not in any tone, just, it is what it is. He said he could fly out for the weekend… but no wedding planning is happening on the weekend. I told him I’d like that, and maybe his new boss could warm up to the idea of an extra day or two. (We’re supposed to be there Sept. 2-7, and have vendor meetings already set.)
I’m just bummed. I’m going to ask my best friend if she would be available if I could fly her out. She’s starting a new job and school, so I doubt it… and I can’t really take engagement photos with her, either, but at least I could have fun with her.
Yes, FI’s family and my dad live where we’re getting married, so there is support– but it’s not him.
Okay… if you’ve made it this far, you deserve a vegan muffin! Thanks for listening. No advice really needed, this just sucks right now.