(Closed) FI had big fight with in laws over wedding cost… now i feel so awkward! long

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee

Ugh. She sounds like a spoiled brat.

Post # 4
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS)) A quick question, how many declines have you received?  It could all be for naught if you get 14 nos from others, just because guests are invited doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be able to come. I am sure you’ll get some declines somewhere that will make up for it. I also feel like if she’s going to invite all of these folks then she should pay for it. I am sorry you are having to go through this ((HUGS))

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would simply have Fiance tell her it’s NOT her wedding. Seriously she sounds like a spoiled, inconsiderate brat! Does she realize that it’s YOUR wedding and not a popularity contest with their friends? I simply wouldn’t send the invites. I think it’s way ruder to get an invite so close the the RSVP, it looks like you are B list. I hope she realizes this.

I’m so glad my mom only had about 5 people on her list to invite that weren’t family and already invited. I’m sorry you are having such a tough time with Future Mother-In-Law.

Post # 7
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am sorry your Future In-Laws are putting you in this position. I don’t know what to say other then that and I hope things get better! *hugs*

Post # 9
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sorry you have to go through this. If I were you, I’d tell her no way on the 14 extra guests and just try to figure out a way to cover the remaining costs of the wedding by myself. Maybe try picking up some overtime to just make up the $1500. If you just keep giving in to her, you set a precedent for giving in. There will come a point in your life when you will have to say no to her, why not get that first no over with now?

Post # 10
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow. Awesome priest! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I think it’s completely unreasonable of your Future Mother-In-Law. Perhaps it’s time to put your foot down.

Post # 11
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I know that this is a tough situation, but you need to keep reminding yourself that you did nothing wrong.  My parents invited 150 of their closest friends to my wedding which they were allowed to do because they paid for the wedding.  If you are paying for the bulk of your wedding, you get to control the budget and guest list.  Her behavior is completely wrong and irrational, and you just need to keep saying no to her.  It’s a sad situation, but she has left you with no other options.

Post # 12
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow that sucks! Hang in there!

Post # 13
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh wow, that is sooo stressful!  I’m sorry that this is on your plate in the last  couple months before the wedding — I’m sure you have a ton of other stuff you’d like to focus on besides wedding budget (like buying your house or the fun stuff of the wedding!).  Now that this problem is resolved, you should totally put your foot down the next time she tries to mess things up & strain everyone!  She will keep doing it unless you send her the message that it won’t fly with you…  Good luck!!

Post # 14
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow, what a situation! I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree with the above that she is acting like a spoiled brat. I personally would not have added the extra 14 people. Do you even know these ppl, does your FI? She seems  very childish and inconsiderate. Again I am so sorry you are having to deal with this!! 

Post # 16
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow too much stress right before the wedding! Sorry to hear about all this.

At first it seems like if they will pay, than they should invite who they like.

BUT, it will affect more than they realize though. If you have to add another table or two, that is two more centerpieces, redoing your seating arrangements, ordering more favors, etc.

I guess I would say something like, ” I really want to make everyone happy and consider everyones wishes, but it is really too late to add more people now. I am sorry but hope you will understand that I am doing my best.”

OR

Just let my man handle issues with his mom. She lives on the other side of the country so it is easy to avoid conflict.

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