(Closed) FI had the best idea for remembering family members who have passed away!

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
2236 posts
Buzzing bee

To be honest that sounds kind of weird to have people thinking of things about your deceased relatives you didn’t even know at your wedding. That sounds better fitting for a memorial service.

Post # 4
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

What a lovely idea. Just make sure they know they’re not signing the guest book! 

Post # 5
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

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qwerty2k1:  I have to agree with  
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Scarlett11:  on this one. It is a beautiful way to remember your loved ones, but maybe not on your wedding day.

Perhaps you can compile the memories before your day and have a beautiful little book on the memorial table. That way you get to remember those people, but it wouldn’t be another focus of your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

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qwerty2k1:  This would depress the hell out of me at a wedding. I lost a lot of loved ones recently and having to think about it and write out a story during a wedding celebration would be hard and sad for me as a guest. Just trying to give you another perspective.  I think its sweet you want to honor your lost loved ones. I like PP’s idea a lot.

Post # 7
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A wonderful idea but please don’t spring this on your guests during the wedding. They will not have the time, interest or focus to sit down and write anything meaningful.

A better way is to mail the request ahead of time and people can take the quiet time at home to write up something valuable for you to treasure.  Print them out on beautiful paper and keep in an album.

May the reception maybe you could read a few snippets as the remembrance during the dinner speech.

Post # 8
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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Brook10:  I like brook10’s idea a lot, OP. I thought your FI’s idea was excellent until I read other people’s points.  :/

Post # 9
Member
3323 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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selinameh:  +1. Weddings are supposed to be a celebration, not to bring up depressing memories…

Post # 10
Member
4839 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I really like that idea but I would do it some other time honestly. I want to celebrate not bawl.

Post # 11
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

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Scarlett11:  +1 i also wouldn’t want to spend my time aa a guest at a wedding writing out a story…how long would it take? Also would be sort of depressing. I think it’s a sweet idea just not for a wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
6799 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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qwerty2k1:  I think it’s a nice idea.  Obviously some people here only feel sadness when they think about deceased relations though – must be something about our different cultures as my relatives are only celebrated for the life they led.  I have never felt depressed when thinking of my lost family members.

However since you can’t be sure of your individual guests, I like the suggestion that stories be sent to you ahead of time and can be read by indiviuals once there if they so choose.  You could slip a blank note card in the invitations with the request and it could be mailed back with the RSVP.  Then have it out on the table with photos at your event.  It would make for a sweet set of memories that can be used at other times as well (like adding on at memorials).  People who felt they couldn’t handle it at a wedding celebration can avoid that area entirely.

Post # 13
Member
2352 posts
Buzzing bee

I dont think it depressing. People have died. It’s a fact of life. They are always with us. Some people you will remember each and every day of your life. Every day I think of my grandmother. I’m having a memeorial table and it depresses people they can walk on by.

That being said, I am unsure, as a PP said, how many stories you will get. It is a nice thought. Why not do both? Perhaps you will get your stories. I hope you do!

Post # 14
Member
7884 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

While I like the idea, I don’t like it for a wedding. If you think people would just walk by a memorial table without paying it proper attention, how many people will really pay attention to the book? Additionally, few people will take the time to write anything substantial or meaningful because of the time it will take, the mindframe they are in and the crowd. I doubt you will get the response you want from this. It would be lovely at a memorial service, but not at a wedding. Most people will ignore this as much or more than a table. We simply made a note in our program about how the the flower display (one in particular) was in memory of ___ (and then named the people who had died that we wanted to make note of/honor).

Post # 15
Member
14015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Another vote for weird.  It would feel like a funeral/memorial service for me to do that.  Sorry.

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