Post # 1
I was struggling coming up with something meaningful that we could do to remember family members who have passed away. At first, we were just going to do a standard memorial table with pictures and whatnot, but realistically I knew a lot of people would just glance at them and then move on.
Well, Fiance came up with a really sweet idea, and it’s so much better! I thought I’d share it in case anyone else wants to do something similar. Most of our family who have passed away, either one or both of us never got to know, which we both really regret. I’ve always been so sad Fiance never got to meet my grandfather, because they would have loved each other! So Fiance wants to set up a nice book where people can share their stories and memories of our deceased loved ones. That way our family can help us fill in those gaps, and we feel like our loved ones will be far more present that day. Plus, we thought family would really enjoy reading what other people have written. We might even scan it and send it to our family after the wedding.
Post # 2
what a sweet and thoughtful way to remember them!
Post # 3
To be honest that sounds kind of weird to have people thinking of things about your deceased relatives you didn’t even know at your wedding. That sounds better fitting for a memorial service.
Post # 4
What a lovely idea. Just make sure they know they’re not signing the guest book!
Post # 5
I have to agree with Scarlett11:
on this one. It is a beautiful way to remember your loved ones, but maybe not on your wedding day.
Perhaps you can compile the memories before your day and have a beautiful little book on the memorial table. That way you get to remember those people, but it wouldn’t be another focus of your wedding.
Post # 6
This would depress the hell out of me at a wedding. I lost a lot of loved ones recently and having to think about it and write out a story during a wedding celebration would be hard and sad for me as a guest. Just trying to give you another perspective. I think its sweet you want to honor your lost loved ones. I like PP’s idea a lot.
Post # 7
A wonderful idea but please don’t spring this on your guests during the wedding. They will not have the time, interest or focus to sit down and write anything meaningful.
A better way is to mail the request ahead of time and people can take the quiet time at home to write up something valuable for you to treasure. Print them out on beautiful paper and keep in an album.
May the reception maybe you could read a few snippets as the remembrance during the dinner speech.
Post # 8
I like brook10’s idea a lot, OP. I thought your FI’s idea was excellent until I read other people’s points. :/
Post # 9
+1. Weddings are supposed to be a celebration, not to bring up depressing memories…
Post # 10
I really like that idea but I would do it some other time honestly. I want to celebrate not bawl.
Post # 11
+1 i also wouldn’t want to spend my time aa a guest at a wedding writing out a story…how long would it take? Also would be sort of depressing. I think it’s a sweet idea just not for a wedding.
Post # 12
I think it’s a nice idea. Obviously some people here only feel sadness when they think about deceased relations though – must be something about our different cultures as my relatives are only celebrated for the life they led. I have never felt depressed when thinking of my lost family members.
However since you can’t be sure of your individual guests, I like the suggestion that stories be sent to you ahead of time and can be read by indiviuals once there if they so choose. You could slip a blank note card in the invitations with the request and it could be mailed back with the RSVP. Then have it out on the table with photos at your event. It would make for a sweet set of memories that can be used at other times as well (like adding on at memorials). People who felt they couldn’t handle it at a wedding celebration can avoid that area entirely.
Post # 13
I dont think it depressing. People have died. It’s a fact of life. They are always with us. Some people you will remember each and every day of your life. Every day I think of my grandmother. I’m having a memeorial table and it depresses people they can walk on by.
That being said, I am unsure, as a PP said, how many stories you will get. It is a nice thought. Why not do both? Perhaps you will get your stories. I hope you do!
Post # 14
While I like the idea, I don’t like it for a wedding. If you think people would just walk by a memorial table without paying it proper attention, how many people will really pay attention to the book? Additionally, few people will take the time to write anything substantial or meaningful because of the time it will take, the mindframe they are in and the crowd. I doubt you will get the response you want from this. It would be lovely at a memorial service, but not at a wedding. Most people will ignore this as much or more than a table. We simply made a note in our program about how the the flower display (one in particular) was in memory of ___ (and then named the people who had died that we wanted to make note of/honor).
Post # 15
Another vote for weird. It would feel like a funeral/memorial service for me to do that. Sorry.