Post # 1
Fiance asked me that last night. And honestly, I was so overjoyed, because he’s pretty sedentary generally (although we do a Saturday morning spin class weekly) and he doesn’t always eat very healthily (he lives at home, and veggies at suppertime are composed of a salad mix with ranch dressing).
I’ve been trying to push him towards health, as I’m big into exercise and I really think anyone should be working out at least 2-3 times a week just for their own health, but it wasn’t until he stepped on the scale and took in that he’s been gaining weight that he expressed a desire to get healthier.
SO BEES: Any tips on how I can encourage him, without pressuring him, and how I can help him switch his lifestyle up a bit? Does anyone have experience with supporting their partner in weightloss? If the reverse has been true for you, what is the best way your SO supports you?
Post # 3
Invite him to go on a run or to the gym with you.
Post # 4
I just went through this with Darling Husband. We both love eating out and as a result he gained about 20-30 lbs over the last year (he’s 6′ 5″ so it’s not that noticeable but it can’t be healthy). His main issue was making poor food choices. He approached me in a similar way and I suggested we both join Weight Watchers (I don’t need it) so we can start our married life off on a healthy note. I am SO glad I suggested it and I highly recommend you guys do it too.
Darling Husband has lost 10 lbs and it’s only been a month! Since we’re doing it together (and I speak the “points” language), it’s made our marriage even stronger. We regularly take walks and work out together to earn activity points and we’ve discovered a LOT of delicious, healthy dishes that will remain staples in our household for the rest of our lives. I am so thrilled we went this route. DH is feeling much healthier and happier and I’m much happier too, because I want him to be happy and healthy! I feel like we are really on the right track and will lead very healthy lives as a result of WW.
Post # 5
@everridiculous: To be honest, the best thing that has worked for me and my SO is acknowledging the effort and complimenting the results.
We’re both trying to eat better and work out more, and nothing makes him light up faster when I compliment him on his muscles. (:
Post # 6
I would like to know too, as my FH is very sedentary (works in an office and spends 90% of his spare time playing computer games, and drinking energy drinks).
The only thing I’ve successfully managed is to suggest to go on a walk together on the weekend… it’s only 30 min but it’s a start I guess.
Post # 7
Put it into relatively easy terms. Figure out his daily caloric needs with this equation http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/ then cut back 400-500 calories a day. This can be split between diet and exercise. If he does the above, he should lose 10 pounds in 2-3 months. Totally doable.
Post # 8
You guys are the best! So positive and helpful.
@swarlesk: The Weight Watchers idea sounds pretty darn brilliant, actually. I love that you do it even thought you’re not trying to lose. Very cool!
@misskittenn: This is something I’m working on. I just don’t want to come on too strongly about it and scare him away.
@Freypie: Good idea! He’s super practical and really likes concreteness. This actually doesn’t appeal to me personally, because I’d rather a general lifestyle change than a no-nonsense reality check. 😛 But I actually think he’ll prefer this!
Post # 9
I cook our meals so he is injesting healthy foods at dinner. I buy our food, so there are healthy foods for him to eat and take to work. I invite him to join me at the gym, so when he complains I can hold him accountable for not taking the initiative to go and make a change. Now that the weather is better I have been suggestive for us to take a little walk around the block.
Post # 10
@everridiculous: I would try to encourage him gradually. He won’t go from sedentary to suddenly enjoying exercise. I would be a bit sneaky and do stuff like play badminton together or go for walks… so technically exercise, but not hardcore going to the gym. Show him that being active can be fun.
I would also be careful how much you criticize his eating habits. Especially since he lives at home, you don’t want to say mean things about his mama’s cooking or it will backfire lol. Just try to make healthier choices when you are eating together, when possible. Don’t nag. My coworker got a bee in her bonnet about her SO drinking diet pop, and made it her “hill to die on” to make him stop drinking it. Guess what? He dumped her a few weeks later. Granted, that was the last straw in their relationship, but trying to change someone ain’t gonna work. It sounds like he has made the important first step, but that’s doesn’t mean you have a free pass to act like his personal trainer, chef, and nutritionist. I am sure you know all this, though. Hopefully he will change his habits for the better – this is an excellent first step!
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Doe she drink alcohol regularly? If so cutting down to once or twice a week will significantly reduce the amount of sugar and calories he is taking in. My FH loses 10 pounds every time we do this (and then we act like hedonists and gain it back a few months later.)
Otherwise, adding in a 30 minute walk 3 days a week should make a big difference. As will cutting out sugary drinks like sodas and juice. We switched over to water, Crystal Light, Mio, and the occasional diet soda (we buy one bottle once a month.)
An easy way to encourage it is to add in another weekly activity. Would you be interested in a local kickball club? They also offer volleyball, soccer, softball, etc… Most leagues offer co-ed recreational teams. It’s a great way to lose weight and meet other people to hang out with. My ex and I bought kayaks and would go kayaking at least once a month; we would do 5-10 miles on the water which is exhausting but rewarding because you see so much more with a quiet kayak than you do with a boat.
I see you are in Sask. When my dad went there to hunt one winter, he trekked across the mountainside while stalking and lost 10+ pounds in a week.
Post # 12
@canarydiamond: Generally, I try to make sure we are eating healthily when we’re together. I definitely don’t want to make him feel bad about anything. It’s just kind of weird because we’ve been together for 6.5 years and this is completely new ground!
@beachbride1216: I’m hoping to get us out for more hikes this summer – we both really love hiking and backpacking – and actually we’ve kayaked together before and he’s liked it, so that’s in the plans as well. Unfortunately there are definitely no mountains here (you may have meant hillsides?). 😛 It would be way easier for us to get in good hikes if there were. If there’s one thing he enjoys, it’s hiking in the rockies!
Thanks, all, for your input! I just want to maintain positivity and try not to involve myself in it too much (for fear of stressing him out or making him uncomfortable), but I want to still be supportive and encouraging. As I said, this is new territory so I’m a little nervous!
Post # 13
Exercise with him, cook healthy meals for him.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@everridiculous: Well, I am from Florida where it’s flat so pretty much any hill looks like a mountain to me.