(Closed) FI informs me he doesnt want to invite someone we sent a STD to *long*

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just don’t send her an invite when the time comes.  If she ever brings it up just say due to budget constraits or space issues you guys had to scale the invite list back.

After a divorce so soon after her own wedding she probably wouldn’t even enjoy going to one.

Post # 4
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

This is a tough one– more than likely (assuming she notices) this will definitely hurt her feelings.  But if you guys don’t talk anyway, it might be worth the risk– especially since so many other people who you ARE close to feel so strongly about the issue. 

If/when she ever brought it up, I wouldn’t lie though– tell her the truth; her ex wasn’t comfortable with her being there, and since she lives far away and you guys haven’t talked for a while, your Fiance felt more comfortable inviting his friend that he’s close to. 

Post # 5
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I totally agree withjolie0019.  Its about having people at your wedding that are special to you and your Fiance.  It obviously means more to your Fiance to have the ex-h there than her.  I’m sorry to say it but she doesn’t seem like a good friend to bump you from her wedding party after all you did.  Not worth the fight with Fiance.  Don’t sent the invite to her.   

Post # 6
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Just out of curiosity, why did she un-BM you?

As to the invitation, it sounds like there are more reasons NOT to invite her, rather than invite her. If you feel you can talk with her, and have her be reasonable, I would call and let her know that you’re no longer going to be able to extend an invitation. Shoot, if she was willing to un-BM you, it’s not totally unreasonable for you to not invite her!

If she’s the angry/confrontational type, I would just not send the invitation and leave it at that. No reason to call her and get yelled at!

Post # 8
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@BrookieCookie9:  I don’t think it’s cowardly. Some people just do not make confrontation easy or comfortable, so why stress yourself out over it? 

And if she does end up asking you… send her a text! 😉

Post # 9
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have a similar situation with an aunt and uncle who are now divorced and don’t get along.  I say invite everyone and allow them the opportunity to be adults.  If they can’t be adults, then they don’t have to come.

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