(Closed) FI is addicted to Fantasy Sports.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@bretonvirgniia:  There was a similar thread about a bee whose husband was really into video games a little while ago. I had a bf who was really into WOW, but some guys like fantasy sports, some like classic cars. I don’t think there’s aything wrong with interests, and it’s good to support your partner’s hobbies. But, I think there are problems when anything comes before your relationship. Maybe talking to him in terms of what’s best for the two of you as opposed to a problem with his fantasy teams might help him understand how you feel.

Post # 4
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am writing specifically because I am very avid in my own fantasy sports world (hockey) and I can be drawn into it. But on a regular basis – it should just not consume THAT much time. Every five minutes is a little outrageous. And nothing should come in the way of private couple time – ie: dinner.

There are a few times it may be acceptable to be a “little more into it” – draft time (the start), towards playoffs, and in playoffs. I can understand the nature to want to do well, within reason. Other than that, he should definitely lessen his obsession. Because it can easily get obsessive and that’s not healthy.

Would you be willing to compromise with him here? If he was allowed extra time to pay attention during those key time frames, as well as a “one check in” a night rule or something simliar, would that be okay? Or you don’t think he’d go for it. The constant checking is pretty crazy and I know I’d be upset.

I was able to get by with setting my roster once a day (10 minutes max), last minute changes at game time (5 more) and after game checking (5 minutes). To me that was manageable and it never took away too much time. (Sure there was that one time two playoffs ago where I spent two hours analyzing my last player moves – but I only wasted my own time!) Your together time should be held in a higher regard.

Bottom line is if your relationship is suffering, it’s no longer a fun hobby, it’s descructive. I would suggest coming up with a compromise for when you are together and he’s obsessively checking. On his own time, it’s his own business, but your together time should not be you competing with his phone/computer.

Also, I do not think it is at all expected that you should learn/join in the game. You are either a fan or you aren’t. I happen to play fantasy sports and my current SO (although just as much a fan) does not. You should be able to have both your Fiance and your own interests.

I’m sorry if this is wordy, but I would suggest talking to him. Setting gentle limits (not forcing) but asking if whlie you were together he could minimize this being his priority. If he understands that you love him, know this is important to him, but also let him know how you are feeling, I hope he’d come around. I love sports, but I would never watch another game if it meant I couldn’t spend time with the person I love.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Darling Husband was really, really into fantasy footbal 2 years ago…. like annoyingly so and although I am a football fan it was annoying.  He was always checking his phone/laptop and he wanted to watch “certain” games b/c he had players on that team, he’d root for weird teams just bc one of his players was on it or playing against it or whatever.  Anyway, I dealt with it and now 2 years later he’s just not that into it.  he still plays it but he’s def not anywhere near what he was two years ago…. on a side note 2 yrs ago he won about $500 from fantasy leagues so maybe him being obsessed had an upside??  LOL.  In your case, like PP said I’d talk to him about it and maybe set some ground rules.  Like if you are on a date or out to eat no fantasy but rest assured as soon as he’s in the car he’ll be checking!!!

Post # 6
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

So I am also dealing with fantasy obsession…Darling Husband is in two really serious fantasy football leagues. The payout in one is $1200 and the other will be $2k-3k for first place. I am a big football fan (my dad worked for an NFL team growing up) so football season used to be fun for me, but his fantasy obsession has made it really hard for me to enjoy Sundays! He does the same thing that your Fiance does – constantly checking the phone, texting the guys in the league, taking player injuries personally and pouting if a game doesn’t go his way. 

I will tell him when I’ve reached the threshold of caring or if I think he’s acting like a kid, and I’ll call him out if he’s being inappropriate (he spent the entire first half hour of one of my family birthday dinners checking scores!) and in plain terms so that he knows that I notice, care, and I don’t think it’s okay. He used to get pouty and resentful when I told him to stop talking about it, but I stood my ground all of last season and this season has been better. I guess I don’t really have any advice, but I can relate.

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