(Closed) FI is back in the hospital, again :(

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I really hope he can stabalize soon but that can take many doctors and many years in certain cases to finally get right. Have you looked into any support groups for help? I havent been around this much but Fiance is at higher risk due to his past careers. have you looked into alternative treatments that can be added to what the VA provides to maybe help with the depression.

Post # 4
46613 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This has NOTHING to do with you being a good wife.It’s not up to you to keep him from getting depressed.  He has a mental illness associated with a chemical imbalance in his brain, This is a lifelong problem. Many things will interfere wth the way his body metabolizes his meds and the amount and type of meds he needs.

Have you had any teaching regarding  his illness? If not , find some. It will help you to stop the self-blaming.

Post # 5
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You cannot blame yourself for his depression and medical issues. I think you are being a great fiance and will be a great wife by noticing when he is off and making sure he gets the help he needs. You are a very strong person for loving and committing to someone who may need your help and may show love and give back to you in a very unique way. I have heard parents of special needs children say that they first needed to mourn the loss of the “normal” child and associated hopes and dreams they had expected, and then embrace every aspect of the “new” child they were given. I do not in any way mean to imply your fiance is special needs. Rather, I just want to suggest that how you fantasized your relationship might be different than your current relationship. Not necessarily in a bad way. It may be just as strong, connected, satisfying, and rewarding as you have ever hoped… it just may manifest in an entirely different way than your imagination has predicted. It is up to you to decide whether this “new” style of relationship is something you are still willing to embrace and commit to.

Post # 7
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@nyscpa2be:  What about a virtual one? That might at least help you along until you can find a group close to home.

Post # 8
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hang in there sweetie, I’m sure they’re working hard to get his meds right.  It takes time, as you know a chemical imbalance isn’t something that can be fixed quickly.  You are so supportive and loving, he is lucky to have you 🙂

Post # 9
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

There is a good online support group for pretty much anything medically relevant at dailystrength.org. It has multiple groups and you just join the groups that are relevant for you.

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