Post # 1
Hi Bee’s –
First, I cannot believe I am even writing this. I have a groomzilla on my hands.
Here is some backstory. My FI and I are the first of both of our circles of friends to get engaged…literally not ONE of our friends has gotten married. Everyone in our wedding party has never been in a wedding and most of them haven’t been to a wedding since they were kids.
I have been extremely blessed that my bridal party have gone as far as to read many articles to learn what they can do to help me. They are so amazing. They have already planned and paid for my bachlorette party, and already started planning the bridal shower. They were SO easy about bridesmaid dresses, almost too easy!
Well, my FI see’s this and he’s extremely jealous! His groomsman are mostly in graduate school and really don’t have time to do any of these things. I keep telling FI not to take it personally, but it’s really hurting his feelings. He’s hurt that they aren’t interested in planning a bachelor party, although they swear they’ll do something.
Last night, FI was talking to one of the groomsman about our Sunday brunch for after the wedding to say our final goodbye’s and the groomman’s responded with “do we HAVE to attend that?” I could see in FI’s face that he was SO hurt. It actually hurt me to see FI so hurt.
I keep explaining to FI that it’s OUR wedding, and no one is going to care but us at the end of the day.
How do I get him to stop comparing my bridal party to his groomsman?
Thanks for reading!
Post # 3
It doesn’t sound like you have a groomzilla – it sounds like he has regular groomsmen. Guys don’t care about weddings, and they aren’t going to plan in advance like girls will.
The groomsman was probably just surprised that there would be a brunch the next day. Maybe he wanted to make other plans for the long holiday weekend.
Post # 4
@MrsTVLover: I totally agree and understand. I can’t seem to get FI to understand that 🙁
Post # 5
I don’t think he sounds like a groomzilla at all. He sounds like a regular guy with no experience with weddings, who somehow has the misguided notion that men behave the same way about weddings as women do. Most don’t.
Your wedding is still months away. I would try to help him rrelax a bit. His men will come through for him for a bachelor party. If a month out from the wedding nothing has been announced, I would contact his best man or one of the groomsmen (whoever you are closest to) and see what’s on the horizon.
Post # 6
@Meant2Bee: poor guy! I can definitely see how it would be upsetting to have your friends be a bit dismissive. But they’re guys, most aren’t going to get excited over wedding stuff… Your fiance has to think big picture here. Is this friend otherwise a really good friend who just doesn’t like the idea that he can’t sleep in/ sleep off his hangover in peace the next day after a late night? Usually the post-wedding Sunday brunches are optional, and as long as his friend is there for him the rest of the time, I’d try to let it go.
Post # 7
@julies1949: Do you think if we get to the month out, I should call the best man? ( we are really close) He’s in law school btw
@nightborn: This is a SUPER close friend of FI’s. The sunday brunch is OF COURSE optional, but I think FI was hoping that he’d want to spend time with him. FI is from Alabama where close friend lives and our wedding is in Virginia. I think he was hoping to spend time with his OOT groomsman that sunday as much as possible.
Post # 8
DH felt the EXACT same way about half of his half of the bridal party!
His BFF/BM couldn’t be bothered to plan him a bachelor party. And that wasn’t the end–MONTHS after the wedding went by, he cornered my DH and said that my DH was a HORRIBLE friend because he made a joke the night before the wedding (they all went out drinking) being the bachelor party! And that he felt that DH treated him like crap and “picked other friends over him”
It was seriously effing bizarre. Anyway, does he have any friends that are excited about the wedding? Maybe they can be ushers/do the GMs job, since the GMs suck?
Post # 9
@BrandNewBride: Glad my FI isn’t the only one! He doesn’t really have any other good friends that would be interested in the wedding. They are all very excited about the reception, dancing, drinking, etc…but nothing else.