Post # 1
Okay so my FI and stress….hmmmm he is always stressed I dont think he couldnt Function with out stress…
He is sad a lot and he says hes happy with me so its all good.
But work has been giving him the run around about gettign promoted…
on his bday 2 yrs ago his grandpa died so whenever its his bday its “gpa has been died X years”
when we talk of our proposal? its yeah gma died soon after,,,,because literally she gave him a ring ha asked we found out they gave her 5 to 8 months to live with cancer she dies 4 days later…
hes very pessimistic lately and bills are stressful we all know that….does anyone else have this problem….i dont want to annoy him but when i try to cheer him up or get him out of his funk he thinks im starting a pissing game….
both my parents have passed and in my opinion when u lose a parent it kinda desensitizes funerals and death for ya…
how do i talk to him about this….we dont have the means for therapy right now and he has a bad habbit of not telling me whats bothering him cause he “doesnt want to stress me out….”
any advice ladies?
Post # 3
well, tell him you two are suppose to be there for each other… and you want him to share everything, thats why your marrying him. so u ceratinly dont mind. as far as the whole…death thing, my mom does the same thing with her parents and siblings that have died…at first i was baffled by why she would do this sort of, anniversary type thinking, then years later i started validating her feelings and sending her flowers and talking about it for a few min then moving on. i ,like you, am desensitized to death, but weird thing is my mom has been through the same amount of deaths as i have, and she is just, not. at all, she freaks out each and everytime we regather for a funeral. which, my mind just dont get…but ive def figure out that somewhat validating her feelings helps (certainly dont make a big deal or he and u might dwell too much on it)…just brief reflection and validation, then moving on….. ya know?
Post # 4
I feel you! Mine is depressed to, but for different reasons, he’s been looking for a job for months, and the wedding is only 4 months out. Its so hard on both of us emotionally, more so him. I just do my best to be supportive and let him know that I am. I know he’s appreciative of it, and tells me, that its just the job situation, not me…and I do know that.
When your FI doesn’t tell you what’s up because he ‘doesn’t want to stress you out’ probably makes you MORE stressed, I know it does me, and it takes a lot to stress me out. Just stay strong for him, I know its tough, especially when there is family death involved. best of luck, and stay strong!