(Closed) FI is Groomsman – but should we go?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7 posts

As long as you are upfront with your friends, they will understand.  And definitely better to let them know now rather than right before the wedding!  No one wants their wedding to be a cause of undue stress (emotional or financial!) on others, and if you let the couple know the situation, they can make the decision whether to move forward with your FI’s inclusion in the wedding party or not.  As long as you are honest with them, and make sure they know that your Fiance will not be offended if they want to replace him in the wedding party, I’m sure they’ll understand.

Post # 5
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I also think it’s a good idea to just tell them.  If your Fiance explains his situation with work and everything, they’d probably also much rather just have him step down than risk not being able to attend at the last minute.  I’m sure your friends will understand – I’d really rather know sooner than later if it were me!

Post # 6
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I completely agree with everyone else. Just have your Fiance call them up and explain the situation. Make sure he says he’d love to still be invited, and hopes that his work schedule will allow him to attend, but with everyone so uncertain, he wanted to prevent any last-minute interuptions and graciously bow out before it was too late.

If the bride and groom are good people, they’ll completely understand. I know I would.

Post # 7
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with everyone else and say to call your friends and explain the situation.  Hopefully they will understand!  Me personally, Id rather know sooner rather than later, especially before the programs are printed.

Post # 8
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I have to agree.  It sounds like a bit of  a bummer for your Fiance.  I think he’d like to do it.  Unless he can go to his boss, and specifically ask not to be scheduled for something that weekend, I don’t think he has the option to just wait it out and take his chances.

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