(Closed) FI is not romantic…. =(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I presume you knew this about him before agreeing to marry him? Some guys are just mellow, and not particularly romantic. He probably just wants to get married. If I asked my Darling Husband for his input on a “sand ceremony” he’d be like “I have no idea what that is, but if it makes you happy rock on with it.”


Post # 4
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@LittleBruin: Don’t freak out when I say this…but I think you are examining this WAAAAAAAY to closely. Him not being overly concerned about the wording/simply approving without questions is not a sign that he is unromantic or that he doesn’t care (about you or the wedding).

And I also think he made a valid suggestion. I am also worried about forgetting the words. Really not something to get depressed about…

Post # 5
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yeah, I agree he should at least want to know what is going on, just so he knows the flow of things. For the most part, I had pretty much full reign over our wedding, becuase I know what he likes and he didn’t care about most things. He did have input on the music, which he did care about, and what he wore, plus food.  I also got his opinion once I was at the final stages of deciding things and if he had an opinion one way or another, he voiced it. But he was the one who picked out our vows (we got them out of a book the night before our wedding). While they were taken out of a book, they were heartfelt and meaningful to us. 

Maybe you can voice to him that you feel he doesn’t care, and that he really should know the flow so he doesn’t get confused. We also had our vows written down, cuz i agree that in the heat of the momeny, most people tend to forget

Post # 5
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with KatyElle.  My husband wasn’t and isn’t terribly romantic but that is the person he has always been.  Just because he doesn’t really want to know the details of the sand ceremony, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to marry you.

Post # 6
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think he is just trying to make you happy and not stress you out. I’m guessing he just wants to marry you, and isn’t too particular on how that happens. My husband is sort of the same, but we had to run everything by our officiant first who happened to be from husband’s church, so I basically asked before I finalized everything anyway. But my husband certainly wasn’t active in that part of the planning process.

You just sound stressed. Unless there are other things about him being unromantic that are bugging you, this really isn’t a big deal. Maybe take a night off and go get dinner with him (you suggest it), and then you can tell him about the ceremony in an excited manner. Maybe it’ll peak his interest.

Post # 7
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I will also agree that my husband is not terribly romantic either, at least not unless you consider doing all my car maintenance and paying for all the parts romantic 🙂

Post # 8
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

The grass is not greener on the other side!  It would be awful if he hated everything you planned and had completely different ideas from yours.  You guys might be battling over that.  Instead, you’re getting exactly what you want.  Be thankful!

Post # 9
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@KatyElle: If I asked my Darling Husband for his input on a “sand ceremony” he’d be like “I have no idea what that is, but if it makes you happy rock on with it.”

Post # 10
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@KatyElle: My Fiance is the exact same way and I know that about him.

If he were to ask anything about the ceremony he’d be mainly asking to make sure it wasn’t “lame” or “silly” not asking because he wanted to know the romantic meaning behind it.

@LittleBruin: Honestly, he’s probably never thought of what his wedding ceremony/vows will be like so he’s willing to take whatever you suggest. He wants to have a ceremony that makes you happy and he wants to make sure he doesn’t screw up (hence why he’s asking to repeat after the officiant).



Post # 11
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

dont take this the wrong way but…..

if he had asked ‘what is the sand ceremony’  etc,

would you have been posting on here asking us

”dont you think he should have KNOWN what a sand ceremony is…..didnt he listen when i told him about it?” 

I’m not saying you would have,  but i do think we brides to be can be guilty of a little bit of nit-picking sometimes…. myself included. But eh romance is not evident in everyones relationship……

like when we went to get the E ring…..

Him…..”is that the one you want?”

Me……”yes i love it, thats the one”

Him….hands me the MONEY  to go and pay for it……romantic?  i think not.  

but i know he loves me,  and i love him for all his faults/.

We are not having speeches at our wedding, because he is shy, and said he could not stand up and say gushy things about me in front of people……romantic…….nope

the proposal……..Him  ”shall we get married then or what? ”

me…….”Yeah ok”

romantic? i dont think soooooooo.  (neither of us)      LOL 

these are just examples from MY life,  and i bet there are plenty of us that can say things similar……

just wanted you to know you are not alone…….

but it doesnt mean he doesnt want to marry you, or that he doesnt love you,  or that he’s not interested in the wedding details……he cant help it…..hes a man ya know!   LOL

Post # 12
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I guess I’m not romantic either because I totally didn’t give a crap about the details of our ceremony.

Basically, it could have said, “Do you? Good. Do you? Good. You’re married” and I would have been fine.

Post # 14
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LittleBruin:  I have SOOO had things like this happen to me with my Fiance…only to find out later that he wasn’t intentionally being “unromantic.”  With my guy, it would be more along the lines of him literally looking it over.  I would have to be more explicit with him about the hand ceremony and sand ceremony and say straight out:  “This part is very important to me and this is why.”  And like others said, I’m sure it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or want to be romantic. 

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