(Closed) FI is pissing me off!!

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee

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leighleigh88 :  sorry, just read your update! Hey, how do you know he isn’t telling the truth? I mean what if he accidentally clicked on her, what if one of his mates at work asked “hey man my phone is dead, can I just check something on Instagram?” I know I’ve let my friends use my phone to call/message someone if their phone dies. I mean, why can’t he be telling the truth? 

Post # 32
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I saw your second reply… If you told him you don’t care about porn, but “don’t want to know about it” then he obviously forgot to delete his instagram search history. He lied to you bc he knows you don’t want to know about it, so why cause a big fight? 

Sorry to say this to a pregnant lady, but you are overreacting. Deep breaths girl, it’ll be fine!

Post # 33
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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leighleigh88 :ย  if he’s an honest, trustworthy guy who tells you the truth even if it bothers you then why are you so convince that he’s lying to you now? ย And even if he’s looking you told him you don’t want to know any of it… so why is it really important now? ย Would him admitting ‘yes I was looking specifically for her’ ease your mind?

From my perspective almost seems like you are trying to jeopardize the relationship by making this a big deal over a search of a girl…

Post # 34
Member
6934 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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leighleigh88 :  You said it yourself that you’re not even sure when this search is from, so maybe he truly doesn’t remember it. How did you find out about this anyway? You told him you just “didn’t want to know” about stuff like this but then it seems you’re going out of your way to find out about it. 

Post # 35
Member
7167 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I do not think it’s unreasonable to express to your partner that it makes you uncomfortable for them to look at/follow certain people on their social media.

I do think it’s unreasonable for you to expect them to never look at another person and have to make sure they delete all search histories and police themselves on the off chance that you might happen upon something that makes you uncomfortable.

Random internet habits means we come across all kinds of things/topics/people in the process of online engagement- they do not all have significance. 

You are doing the absolute most and you need to work on controlling your own feelings and thoughts, not his.

Post # 36
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you don’t want to know about it,  why are you checking his Instagram searches and questioning him about them?

Post # 37
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

He probably does not remember looking up some random chick. It’s really not a big deal, he probably heard her name somewhere and looked once. If he starts doing it all the time or trying to contact women then you can be pissed.

He probably can’t remember doing it. 

Post # 38
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

For the OP: This may come off more harsh than intended but: the “slutty undertone” comments are really unnecessary. No one in this world needs judgement from you. People can dress and pose and post however and whatever they like, it doesn’t matter. 

The “policing” of his Instagram is another issue – if he is a good man that gives you no reason to doubt him, this type of behavior comes off as very insecure. You are both adults, treat each other as such. 

have a discussion about trust, expectations and boundaries but understand that he gets to have a say in this as well. 

Post # 39
Member
4367 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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leighleigh88 :  I must have missed the memo that making your partner delete people off social media is the key to a healthy, functional relationship. I have never even contemplated who my Fiance follows on there as it doesn’t matter one single bit in the grand scheme of things. Why does it bother you so much? Do you deal with massive amounts of insecurity in other aspects of your relationship? Have you looked at yourself at all? Because it seems far more important to me to figure out why you are affected than why he does it…

Post # 40
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

I just… don’t see the problem here? So he looked a girl up, maybe she was in one of his friend’s photos and he just thought she looked familiar or wondered who she was. I click on random hashtags all the time on Instagram through my newsfeed and don’t even remember all the things I looked at yesterday. He probably honestly doesn’t remember. 

Post # 41
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Speck_ :   ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

 

Post # 42
Member
7625 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

“If he’s doing it I don’t want to know about it and I’ve made that clear to him.”

“He’s normally a trustworthy, honest person.”

If you don’t want to know and he’s a trustworthy person, why in the world are you looking at his instagram search history?

Post # 43
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2005

You need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!!!

You are policing his Instagram? Yet, he, is in your words completely trustworthy in one breathe, but a liar in the next. WTF?

How in the world do you know he is lying? My daughter has an instagram and I was new to it and tried to find her on the site, I started typing her name and it popped a whole bunch of names that were close to hers. Then I clicked what I thought was hers and because my phone is jacked up slow I clicked on another name.  

You seem totally insecure, especially with the “slutty undertones” comments. Seriously? You are going to shame someone you dont know and you are convinced your Fiance is searching for strange women. 

I noticed also you didnt reply to a single person except for an update where you are still accusing your Fiance of lying. How about taking his word for it that he wasnt in fact doing anything wrong.  

Last thing I will say is that insecurity doesnt look good on anyone. You need to recognize that no one not men or women like someone who is insecure over nothing. No excuses.

 

Post # 44
Member
34 posts
Newbee

Yeah this relationship sounds like it’s headed for success. 

Post # 45
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee

It’s just instagram. It’s not that serious. ๐Ÿ˜‚

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