(Closed) FI is scared?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It is probably the wedding that is freaking him out, not the marriage.  My Fiance was the same way.  I was so gung-ho into wedding planning and I would get really stressed out and the whole process freaked him out a bit.  

I took a month or so off and when I started back off I promised not to let it stress me out as much.  I became calmer and so did he.  We are getting married on Saturday 🙂

Post # 4
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree. It’s the wedding. Not you. The planning can completely consume us, and it can get really overwhelming sometimes.

Post # 5
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe you and he should have a romantic weekend where you don’t think or talk about the wedding.  Then, designate one day out of every week as a “wedding-free” day.  This way, you guys can take mini-breaks from the wedding.  

Also, you can try talking to Fiance about post-wedding plans.  He might be really excited to talk about what you guys will do during your first few years of marriage!

Post # 6
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Fiance is terrified about being in front of everyone on our wedding day, could it be some social anxiety? I’m sure he’s just starting to feel the pressure mounting now that the big day is getting close. As PP’s have stated, it’s the wedding, not you he’s stressing about. Big Hugs!

Post # 8
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Definitely take a step back from planning!!  It can really start to take over a relationship. Spend a few weeks focusing on normal stuff together; I bet he’ll feel better. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m basically echoing what everyone else has already said. Yes, take a break from planning if you can. I was just in this exact situation.  It was terrifying because I almost thought he wanted to call off the whole thing. 

He was having anxiety over feeling like prop on display or just another accessory for “my” big day. He thought the whole wedding was going to be a big production and he’s not one for being center of attention.  I felt horrible but I’m glad he told me.

Take some time to remind him that you’re excited about becoming his wife and not just the big party and pretty dress.  Its very easy to make our guys feel unimportant during the process.  Especially when you are taking care of most of the details yourself. 

Post # 10
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance usually gets this glazed look in his eye when I’ve been talking wedding too much. A lot of the time, he’s right, and it’s a good signal for me to stop and do something else to decompress.

Sometimes, it’s just that the guys often care so little about all details and they can get either overwhelmed or bored by it. But it can also be them reacting negatively to how much it stresses us out, and wanting those stress triggers to just go away.

Post # 11
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I feel like your FI! I’m so over planning, but there’s still so much to do. And at this point, it’s really not possible to stop planning for a month. Maybe just take a few days without talking about the wedding.

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