(Closed) FI is so unhelpful

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Some men are just like this! My fi does it all the time, what makes me more mad is that he has 5% hearing loss in one ear [he got some type of ear bone disease when he was younger, and lost 20% of his hearing, a couple years ago he had a surgery done to repair the damage, so now it’s at about 5%], but man, everytime I’m talking to him he flat out doesn’t hear me, it’s ALWAYS that excuse. His mom said he did it as a kid too. I told him 5% isn’t that great of an excuse, and luckily, and doesn’t do it as much.

My fi just doesn’t care too much about the details of the wedding itself. He’s basically told me it’s my day, and all he cares about is that i’m there, and we’re married by the end of the night. I still try to include him in everything though.

Post # 4
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ugghhh FH does this too, with the not listening thing. 

Pretty irritating at times… I try to stay patient but it does make me feel like crap when he totally tunes me out. I multitask but I almost never do that to him, I always know what he’s on about! 

He always apologizes though and stops what he’s doing after, and gives me all attention and is sweet about it when I call him out… so that helps. 

Post # 5
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

oh honey, most men don’t care about wedding details…

and actually, after I saw one of my friend’s FIs get TOO involved (to the point of many arguements) I started to feel blessed that my guy didn’t care as much.

You should be rewarded for your efforts with some praise but don’t expect him to do it at every moment ever. I would sort of start to filter your interactions with him and the wedding because honestly, he (like my FI) probably just wants you to be happy and that will make him happy.

I used to involve him in every aspect (even the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress drama) and he started getting restless and almost resentful of it all saying things like “all we do is talk about the wedding” and so I knew I needed to scale back with him and use the hive more. lol


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