(Closed) FI Is too eager (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you should write down everything you want to say to him, so you don’t forget, and then sit down and have a conversation and come to an agreement on your vision.  It’s both of your weddings, so it’s important it reflects both of you.

My groom delegates too 🙂  He doesn’t brainstorm, just rejects my ideas and expects me to come up with new ones to present to him.  It’s very frustrating.

Post # 5
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Groomzilla!  haha  I think it’s nice that he’s helping you with the wedding planning and it’s great that he’s excited about it!  Try not to worry so much, it will turn out fine.  🙂

Just make sure you both agree… don’t cave to whatever he wants.  It’s BOTH your day and you definitely have a say in how you want things… he should respect that.  Make a list of all the things related to the wedding and discuss them one by one.  Colors?  Food? Who to invite?  It should be a joint project… I didn’t make many decisions on my own and usually run them by my fiance for self assurance.

As for using semiprofessionals – there is a saying that says “what’s cheap comes out expensive in the end.”  Make sure the photographer is good and not just a friend with a camera – my brother’s wedding pictures could have been a lot better if she didn’t hire her highschool friend. 

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I did not anticipate my groom having so many ideas about our wedding either. I’m not shy; I just don’t want to have this enormous wedding he is so into. I think he had much more elaborate dreams for the wedding than I did. He insists on us having a dinner at the reception when our guest list is 275 people. He has a large family, I don’t. We’re having our ceremony in a church, which is great because we both want that and are completely set on that, but is also difficult because their fellowship halls/gyms are not big enough to accomodate a seated reception for 250+ people (some people can’t come but we are inviting them anyways.) So, if we MUST have a dinner than we must have a place for them to sit and eat, which means we must have a different venue for the reception. With the second venue, rentals, and catering costs we are thousands over budget!!!

I suggested numerous options and he just rejects all of them! I suggested a desserted buffet in the church, which would keep us within our budget and be more casual and fun (in my opinion.) He said no. I suggested an hors d’oeuvres and desserted reception. He said no. I suggested a desserted reception followed by a smaller dinner reception for our families and wedding party. He said no. I feel like saying to him, “If you’re set on a seated reception dinner then you plan it…” but that would not go over well…

He (and my future Mother-In-Law…) are trying to cut everything in the budget to accomodate a seated reception. So basically everything that I feel would make it my wedding as well is being cut to bits, while they are planning something we can’t afford. UGH! My parents can cover the whole wedding if we don’t have dinner, which is very gracious on their part, but my future in laws decided to chip in some money (only half of what my parents are paying for-but also very kind, unexpected, and gracious) so that we can have food if we want it. And now that I have discovered that even with the extra money my future in laws have offered we can’t afford to have the dinner because of the large guest list woes aforementioned. However, now the dinner is expected from my future in laws but we can’t afford it!!! I don’t know what to do because my Fiance wants to feed everyone too! 

His wishes wouldn’t be a problem, except for the fact that if we do what he desperately wants we ARE going to go over budget and that is simply not an option for me. I share your woes and I hope that we will be able to compromise soon because it’s stressing both of us out and causing unnecessary strain on a very happy day. 

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