- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
My fiancé and I are currently completing law school overseas (we’re taking a specialized program which isn’t offered in our home country). We are recently engaged and have set our date for June 20th 2015. Throughout the last few years, my fiancé especially has talked about being so happy about approaching graduation and how excited he is to begin working etc etc etc. he is a very practical person, loves to be hands on and is always very successful in his jobs.
He applied on a whim to a 12 month master’s program in his hometown (note – multiple provinces away from mine) and has been accepted. hm. i feel like a total brat because i’m not convinced it’s a good idea and i need your objective perspective. i feel like this is totally throwing off the plan we made together to graduate, do our accredation exams, hit the pavement looking for jobs and get married in summer 2015.
– he’ll have a masters of law
– i would then feel huge pressure to move there, which limits my ability to volunteer/interview since all my connections and past work is elsewhere. it’s a much smaller pool of possible jobs etc. i feel it’s very limiting to me.
– his parents are VERY insistent that we move there long term and this would be giving them a win right off the bat… we’ve struggled to stress to them in the last year or two to be really united about how we will move where our careers take us etc. so part of me feels like moving there asap would undue all that.
– it’s 12 months, so he’d be in school during our wedding, he’d basically have to come home for a few days (our wedding is fri, sat and sunday) and then back to school, no honeymoon
– we wouldn’t live locally (where the wedding is) up to the wedding and that’s not fair to my parents who are handling everything – we should be home and helping – that was part of the deal when we chose our venue – it’s a LOT of work and we promised to be on deck to help.
– he points out we ‘could live with his parents for free’ – i consider that a con! we’ve done it before, but we’re older and engaged and rent is foolishly expensive, and without working, we can’t afford it. i will NOT live with them while married, so at the very least, we’d need to rent for 4 months and a one bed is 1600.00 per month +
– it’s nearly 30,000 – he’d get help with it but still.
so bees – am i being a total grinch? do i need to polish off my ‘happy face’?
i just don’t understand how he can have changed his mind so completely about being in school – it’s hard for me to accept that if he does that, i need to completely change my plan too. it’s obviously not feasible for us to be apart for 12 months, especially since we’re getting married 3 months before the program ends.
sigh. i’m super lost…help?