- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I need your advice. Before I begin I would like to say that my Fiance is very nurturing and supportive of me and always treats me with respect. He puts other people ahead of him and my friends and family love him which is nice since they hated my ex boyfriend.
When I met my Fiance he was 30 and had just earned his Bachelors degree. The first time around he flunked out due to being irresponsible. So he worked a few years in the real estate business and then went back to school and pretty much had to start all over. He worked hard and graduated with a high GPA. I admired that he took the steps to go back and finish. At the time we met he was working as a waiter but looking for a job in his field. Since the job market was so bad it was hard to find one that didn’t require experience.
About six months into our relationship he got fired from his job as a waiter. He had made some mistake during work and him and his manger didn’t get along and his manger fired him. I was upset but I thought at least this would give him more motivation to look for a good job in his field. About a month later he got a nice paying job but it wasn’t really in his field. However, he was on contract but had to let him go when the contract ended but they hired him back 2 months later but then let him go again another 5 months after that. The entire business went under soon after so I understood although it did concern me that he hated this job and didn’t like his supervisor. About a month later he go another waiter job. Again, he really disliked one of his mangers.
About a 2 months later he went to a job fair and finally got a job in his field, The starting salary wasn’t great but it was full time and had wonderful benefits and it was doing something he loved. He would be able to move up in his career and it would like nice on his resume. A month after starting his job he proposed to me 🙂
Well, he really didn’t get along with his supervisor…again 🙁 She did make some big time paperwork mistakes that cost him $350 so he called corporate HR about it and ever since then she had it for him. I told him not to call corporate because it would come back to bite him in the butt. She continued to say he wasn’t catching on quick enough. She also wrote him up every time he was 1-3 minutes late even though she did not do that with the others. Today he got terminated from this job.
I’m pretty disappointed and don’t know what to do. I’m afraid the fact that he has gone through 4 jobs in the 2 years I’ve met him and he now is jobless is a red flag. He doesn’t manage his money well either which also worries me although I have taken over the roll of making a budget for us and making sure he get his bills paid on time.
He is very intelligent but I really think he way have ADHD as he has a very hard time staying focused and getting work done. I’ve begged him to go to a doctor and at least talk about and find out what his options are. He keeps saying he will but has yet to do.
I just bought a house last summer and was able to save enough for the down payment. My parents are paying for the wedding. I’ve been saving up in order for us to pay for a honeymoon. The ring he gave me was actually his mother’s engagement me so he did not have to buy it. We took the diamond out of that and put it in a new setting which I paid half of myself and then he put the other half on his credit card. He has only made one payment on that since. I’ve made the others.
What should I do?? My parents, family and friends would be devastated if we called off the wedding as would him and I but I’m worried this is a pattern. I know he desperately wants to make me happy and he is extremely upset at himself right now. Since I’ve been paying the mortgage he will clean my house top to bottom every other day, takes very good care of my pets, and even cooks to “pay” in share of rent. He has promised that he will prove himself to me in the near future but I’m afraid that might be too late.